For My Sake
by Minusbomb
Summary: James has hit a low point in his life. He simply thinks that no one has care for him anymore than he has for himself. His pokemon friends are incessant that he liven up and that they are there but will he listen? Will they have to go to extreme lengths just to allow him to see the bright side of life once more? Contains Pokephilia and YAOI.


**Hi there everyone! I've been working on this one shot for about two months. I definitely didn't mean it to be this long, so if you're in for the long run, maybe grab a snack. I'm pretty happy with how this one turned out, hopefully you like it too.**

 **I do not own Pokemon in any way, shape or form. (I know, crazy, right?)**

* * *

I laid there in my bed, trying to close my eyes so the day would go by faster but to no avail. The world did not want me to get any extra sleep today. But I suppose it only seemed natural, it was almost half past ten after all. I knew that because a few minutes before, the Sinnoh region's April sun started to shine into my eyes from my window. As it did yesterday and the day before.

If someone was spectating they may comment that I was not lying in bed per se but rather sulking. Oh yeah, big surprise. A teenager sulking in his room, he was also probably wearing ridiculous clothes with dyed hair and a room so full of black it would make Crobatman envious. To those I say, yes I was sulking. Usually a teen as myself has his reasons. No, I wasn't wearing anything ridiculous. A grey hoodie and jeans was what I had. I did not have dyed hair, only natural dirty blonde; the appeal never caught onto me. My room had been the same shade of navy blue for nearly a decade. Sorry if I didn't exactly fit your average teen stereotype.

But I probably shouldn't have been sulking, it was ten thirty on a school day for that matter and yet, here I was. Like I said, I have my reasons. They might have called my mom, but she was away on work a work trip and had left her cellphone at home. Unanswered calls from West Jubilife High piled up quite a bit. One had gone off not too long ago and I had actually considered going to it and answering. Probably going along the lines of, "Oh, I'm sorry, James can't make it today. He's too busy being depressed. Oh! And while you're at it, why don't you come by and throw a rock through a window! Make sure you write something original! 'Freakshow' and 'You don't belong in our school' are getting stale fast!"

I decided against it however, I was comfortable in my bed. At least until a rock came through the already broken window and landed near my dresser with a _thud_. A lot more had been coming from the past week or so. It's on a schedule even; at about quarter to eleven three or four rocks would come through. They would have some mean spirited words on them written in sharpie. Maybe I should have been more greatly affected by them but I found them boring after some time, seeing that they were only telling me things that I knew were true.

I could only assume the assailants are students at school, probably skipping second period. Or maybe they just had a spare. They couldn't be anyone else, no mature adult was going to come over and throw a rock at a window with the knowledge someone is inside. At least no adult that I knew.

Perhaps I should have called the police on them, but I felt no need. There was no need to disrupt anyone who had more important things to do. Why waste the time on me?

Even so, on occasion, a rock would come in an hit me in the body or head but I wouldn't feel it. It's always been that way for me. And it's because it's been that way that I'm in my bedroom, letting the day go by as if I was never there.

The words, in my mind, were rather a small part in my depressed state, considering they were usually the same people writing the same thing over and over. Day after day. I only felt genuinely hurt by one word that had come out of tandem with the rest of the rock schedule. A single word in curly, neat handwriting. _Rapist_.

It wasn't true, if you were wondering. That word never had any _real_ meaning but seeing it in that handwriting twisted my heart. I knew who it was and knew it was because of her that I was in my depression.

A few more rocks came through the window, one of them came right at my head and glanced my right eye. Still, nothing was felt by me. I've never been able to feel pain, not even when I was toddler and fell down over countless times. I've never shed a tear in pain, nor do I have any scars to remember the events by. The rock that hit my eye slumped lazily off my face and onto my comforter, it barely made me flinch. Nevertheless I checked the area, a bit of dust where the rock landed but that was it. Of course it was. No bumps, no bruises, nothing. _No pain._

Outside my window, I heard the protesting engine of an old car, then the squeal of tires as the rock-throwers drove off. Some people should have noticed them throwing things but we lived in a neighbourhood where everyone worked full-time, no one had retired yet. It was like the world wanted me to get punished with this perfect storm.

From downstairs, I heard the sliding doors that led to the backyard open. I didn't get up, I knew it wasn't anybody with intentions to hurt me. The assholes who threw rocks only did it so they didn't have to face me. They were scared of what I was. They were scared of what I could potentially do.

No, the ones who decided just to waltz in through the doors were my only two remaining friends. When hell broke loose for yours truly, they stood by unlike all my other friends. They came in periodically every morning to check on me, maybe they thought it was a nice gesture. To me, it seemed like I was hindering them, like how I was hindering everyone else in my life.

From outside my room I heard the steady _thump, thump, thump_ of someone running up the stairs. How long had this routine been going on for? Two, three weeks? Mom was going to be gone for a month so it had to be around that time. That's how long they've put time into trying to help me. It wouldn't work though, the underlying details among us were too obvious, too blatant to me to actually help.

The thumping stopped and my door swung open. I shifted my head to the left. There was a Weavile with her paw held to where the doorknob was. Because of her small height, she held it quite high and had an annoyed look on her face.

"Would it kill you to move it down at least a little bit?" she said bitterly, dropping her paw down.

"Nice to see you too, Lex," I said, staring back up at the ceiling.

Lex was one of the two friends I still had. I'm not sure how we've managed to stay that way for so many years considering her rather aggressive attitude. Whatever the reasons, she could afford be nice at times. If not, she probably wouldn't be trying to help.

I'm aware you may be thinking _Holy shit, that pokemon just talked_. I probably would too if I was in your situation. But I've never thought that, not once. I've thought about the idea of talking pokemon being impossible about as much as I have thought about how much that rock at my head hurt. If you forgot, it wasn't very much. It came to me about as naturally as the immunity to pain.

"Come on, James, your sulking is probably the most boring thing I can watch," she walked into the room and leaned against the wall next to the door.

"I don't think it's supposed to be entertaining."

"Then come and play with us, you need it."

To this, I didn't answer. I imagined she already knew what I was going to reply with, or at least know the general outcome.

She walked over to my bed and picked up the rock by my head. I could barely read the words 'Join the circus, creep' before she flipped it over and read it herself. I assumed she didn't. She always rejected me teaching her. Always arrogant, that one was.

"Isn't this the same thing that was written yesterday?" she scoffed, tossing the rock behind her.

I shrugged my shoulders, my eyes still fixated on the little bumps in the ceiling. I guess she recognized the same letters. "Yeah, probably is," I sighed. "Some originality they got."

"If I had to write things on rocks and throw them at someone's window over and over, I'd get bored pretty quick."

Suddenly she was over me, instead of the bumps in the ceiling I was staring at the furs on her face. "You can't spend forever up here, you ought to be an idiot to do that," she paused for a moment for me to look over at her slightly. "And you're not that much of an idiot so come on, play and you'll finally have some fun."

I blinked, then said rather sarcastically "Wow, 'not that much of an idiot' according to Lex. how fulfilling." Which was a mistake on my part considering she immediately took her claws and slapped me across the cheek. There was no mark. A normal person would have their face torn straight in two but Lex knew what I was, and was fine being a lot rougher because of it.

"Asshole," she said, giving a toothy grin.

I still didn't smile but instead looked elsewhere, specifically, a new patch of ceiling. "You know how I feel about doing things like that, why I don't want to play."

"I think your reasons are bullshit, we want to play and you need to get out of your rut. And if you're good enough for sarcasm, you're good enough to play."

For a while there was silence. I was contemplating what Lex had said while she was probably thinking up the next insult she would throw at me. It made sense sure, but if I did agree, I would just be accepting the thing that got me here in the first place.

"James?" a voice said from the door. This one was more masculine and I figured out quickly who it was.

I looked and saw a Braixen standing where Lex was not too long ago.

She turned around "Well Kyle, maybe you can get it through his thick skull. He's being stubborn again," she said.

 _And you're not?_ I thought to myself, deciding not to set her off again.

Lex walked out the room, Kyle moved aside as she passed by the door. He was nearly the polar opposite of Lex, more timorous and submissive in nature. A lot more smiling than insulting. Together, we were one hell of a motley crew.

"Are you feeling alright, James?" he said, coming over.

"About the same as yesterday"

He picked up the rock that Lex through behind her. His ears dropped against his head in sadness.

"Why do people keep doing this to you?"

"I dunno, it's not like I care anymore. They can't hurt me more than they already have."

He placed the rock back down on the floor. "Maybe you don't care but we do. I know Lex doesn't show it as much but we're scared, James. You might not notice it but you get worse every day, with these rocks and the denial of your friends. Just yesterday you were throwing the rocks that came in into the corner over there," he pointed to the far right corner, next to the window. It was filled with dozens of rocks, most with identical messages with one or two somewhat creative ones in the bunch. "Today you didn't even do that."

I brought a hand down, keeping my body firmly on the bed, and picked up the rock Kyle put down. With a flick of the wrist, it flew over and clattered onto its brothers and sisters. "Happy, Kyle?"

His blue eyes grew big and a little watery, I had gone too far. I might not show much emotion but hell, if I couldn't feel it. Before I could apologize, he steadied and began to speak again.

"You don't mean to be a jerk, I know that, but please let us help," he looked at me with pleading eyes.

Almost everything inside me wanted me to let him and Lex help. But there was that one part. The one part that kept them from doing so. Because I was fucking born with it.

"I can't, Kyle. You and Lex have heard that from me several times."

"And here I am asking again because between me and Lex, we don't think it makes sense."

I didn't respond but I tilted my head so I was directly facing him now.

"Do you really hate that part of you, James?" he asked.

That question was a bit of a bugger. It's one of those things that's a blessing and a curse in the opinions of some, leaning much further toward the latter in mine. No pain and scarring sounds great but it cost me nearly everything. I know my mom still loves me because she knows what I am. But if I could redo that day on the stairs, I would. I did hate it, I hated it so much.

"No, I don't hate it. I've never really hated it," I said, lying. I silently hoped my uninterested expression would hide the lie. Though it didn't look like Kyle was very satisfied.

"Okay, what do you hate then?"

I was silent for a moment, debating if I should answer, then did. "I hate that I was stupid. When I told Jenna what I was and then what I did, I never even considered that she would react like that and tell everyone about it. I was too fucking stupid." That was true, hopefully that was enough for Kyle.

He nodded and sighed. "That's right but you're not stupid. You wanted to tell her eventually and you didn't know how she felt about half- I mean, what you are. If you had asked her she would have asked the obvious follow up question. You were in a corner and had to get out, what you did can hardly be called stupid."

It was pretty hard to argue with that. Except it wasn't really. There were plenty of things I did that day that could be easily classified as textbook stupid. I could have kept going, but he would have persisted, he was rather determined this morning. I sat up from my bed, leaning back against the pillows and ran my fingers through my hair. An odd positive feeling began running its course through my head and I answered somewhat out of instinct. "Alright, good pep-talk coach," I said, stretching my arms.

"So are you gonna play with us?"

"Sure, sure. Might as well do what Lex told me and get out of my rut."

He smiled and his ears finally perked back up. "Thank you James, we'll have a lot of fun. Just like we used to." He stepped back to give me space.

I swung my legs over and got myself out of bed. Before, I would only get out of bed to eat, drink and use the john. There was never an odd moment that got me moving other than that. Breaking a cycle never came to me as attractive but this time, it felt alright. Not good, but definitely not bad.

I stood up and somehow managed to crack a smile. What Kyle said must have sunk in, I really felt that we would have fun. So odd, these feelings just seemed instantaneous.

"Lex is probably going to say your hair looks real messy," Kyle said, looking up at me. It was true, usually not combing or brushing your hair for near a month would do that.

"If _you_ said it then Lex is a guarantee."

He snickered and started walking, I followed him out the door.

Outside my room, there was a staircase leading down to the first floor along with three other rooms on different sides. My mom and I lived alone but she was paid well at her corporate job. Never had any siblings either, I kinda would have wanted to though.

Maybe you're wondering _Wait, who was your dad?_ It was always hard to answer that when someone asked. Usually I said he had a job that involved a lot of travel and that he was killed in a car crash in the Johto region. What a stupid lie.

I had found out who my dad when I was six, that day on the stairs when everything was thrown at me. It seemed so clear now, everything that had happened then.

Kyle started down the stairs. I took my foot and-

* * *

 _-started tumbling down the stairs. I hit against the walls and stairs like it was a twisted pinball machine. But there was emptiness where the pain should be. Even in a six year old's mind, it was a weird experience._

 _I hit the bottom, my cheek rested on the cool hardwood. I looked back up at what I had gone down as my mom's troubled footsteps quickly approach me. Some picture frames were askew from me brushing by them and two had fallen down but not broken._

 _My mom came up quickly, straightening me up and then hugging me to her chest. "Oh my arceus, James! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she said, her breathing rapid._

 _I didn't understand back then why she was so worried about me. I had nearly broken two pictures, I thought she would be worried about those. "I'm fine mommy. I'm sorry I almost broke the pictures," I said, giving her a small hug back._

 _She brought me away slightly and looked over my face, I did so to hers as well. It was frantic, scouring for something off from me but finding none. However, that set off something even more alarming to her._

" _James? Are you- are you sure you're alright?"_

" _Yes mommy, why?"_

 _She didn't take too long to guide me into the hypnotic ray of the television while she called our doctor for a house visit. To give her credit, it distracted me phenomenally. So much so that I barely heard the door knock and the footsteps of the honoured guest._

" _Howdy James, how ya been?" a voice said behind me._

 _I turned around and saw the tall, thin frame of our doctor. He had black hair that was greying even though he was only a little over forty at the time. A nice man, he never told you there was a helicopter outside and then stabbed you with the vaccine._

" _Hi Doctor Richard," I said, standing up._

" _Your mom tells me you had quite the fall."_

" _I did, it didn't hurt though. I'm pretty sure I didn't break anything."_

" _Well we're going to talk a little more about how it didn't hurt. Okay?"_

 _I looked at him curiously, eyeing the small medical kit that was similar to my metal lunchbox. Suspicion was welling up inside me._

" _Is there going to be a needle Doctor Richard?" I asked and he smiled warmly. I knew there these things called 'vaccines' but I had not gotten any that I had known of, I think maybe when I was still in the emergency room after I was born but I wasn't sure.. A lot of my friends have and they said they hurt, if that was true, I definitely didn't want that._

" _Yes James, but I got a lollipop for you when we do it."_

 _It was my turn to smile "Thank you," I said._

 _He started asking questions about what he called 'Your condition' which I know nowadays is just a politically correct way of saying 'I don't know what the hell's wrong with you but I'll tell you what, if a doctor's asking questions about it, it can't be good'._

 _My mother watched and listened anxiously from beside me as she began hearing things for the first time. She didn't even know what I was until I had given her and Dr. Richard all the clues._

 _The interview went on for maybe five minutes. As said, Doctor Richard opened his medical pack and took out a syringe. While the needle made me scared, the idea of a lollipop after was worth it. He pressed the needle against my arm and tried to push it in where it was stopped by my skin. He began looking strained as he tried to break through the skin but couldn't. Dr. Richard chuckled lightly and asked if I could just spit into a tube for him instead. I did so, wondering why he hadn't asked me to do that in the first place._

 _He collected his things and asked my mom to come in the kitchen with him. I opened my cherry red lollipop he had given me and continued watching television._

 _That was, until my curiosity got the best of me and I found myself wandering over. I positioned myself beside the refrigerator, out of sight from my mom and the doctor._

" _It's only a thought Lauren, it might not even be true," Doctor Richard said, sounding like he was trying to calm my mom._

" _How- How can you even think that!? My little James can't be that… It's.. not possible.. right?" my mom said. The tone from her was one I hadn't heard before, it was of uncertainty._

" _It's only a thought, but from what James told me. There is some possibility."_

" _So you're just going to assume that my son's part pokemon?!"_

 _The moment I heard that, a million thoughts ran through my young, optimistic mind. Not a single one was bad. I imagined being a pokemon, or at least part pokemon would be really cool. I could learn moves, get strong and maybe even evolve. Clearly my mom didn't share the same enthusiasm._

" _I am not assuming Lauren, don't you remember about what he said about his pokemon friends?" he said in an even tone._

" _That Sneasel and Fennekin? I know he said they talk to him but I thought that was just a child's imagination. You don't think he's serious, do you?"_

" _I'm saying his words hold some weight considering the circumstances."_

" _But there are people who can talk to pokemon, aren't there? My son's just one of them…"_

" _Yes there are Lauren, but perhaps we're diverging from what brought me here in the first place. Your son can't feel pain, which may have been due to CIPA if it weren't for the fact that your son has never had a single lasting injury. If it was CIPA, he would still have bruises or cuts from that fall down the stairs but he doesn't. That combined with the fact he can talk to pokemon does provoke the thought that he is a half-breed."_

" _How- how does the fact that he does not feel pain justify that!?"_

 _Doctor Richard got silent then sighed. It was of exasperation, my mom was not letting up on him for one second and it sounded as though he was already having a long day. A summer vacation weekend as well. Forcing him drive an hour to our house probably didn't improve his mood very much._

" _It does not justify that he is such. Again, this is a thought. But if you want a more suitable answer, you have to answer a question too," he said._

" _Fine. Ask me." My mom sounded short tempered now. She really was trying to hold it in but after what happened, it wouldn't take much to push her over. She almost never got mad, if I had broken a plate or clogged up the toilet she would laugh it off and show me how to clean it up. Hearing her now, the voice sounded alien._

" _Please be aware that this question is a bit… touchy. You don't have to answer if-"_

" _Just ask me dammit!"_

" _Have you ever had any relationships with pokemon before? I'm not judging. But it will give a clearer answer than we already-"_

" _Oh my Arceus… No, that can't be possible…" her voice had gone to a whisper._

" _Pardon?"_

" _I never thought… Arceus, I was so stupid," she said with the sound of tears becoming evident._

" _I think it would help if you explained. But you don't have to if you don't want to."_

" _No… no, I have to do this."_

 _I took my lollipop out of my mouth and listened in closely. Whatever she was going to say, I wanted to hear. I wanted to know how I became a half-breed, maybe then I could tell my friends and they could be that way too. But I wasn't prepared for what she said._

" _I was… raped… by a Bisharp a couple years ago. It was a boyfriend's and I was at his house. We used protection… and after, I went to clean myself up in his bathroom… I guess his Bisharp noticed…"_

 _She got quiet and my curiosity peaked. I carefully leaned my head out from beside the refrigerator to get a view of the situation. Doctor Richard held his medical kit in his left hand and with his right gave my mom sympathetic pats on the shoulder. My mom herself had her head down with one hand that propped up her forehead. I couldn't see from where I was but I think she was crying._

" _It happened so fast that I didn't scream at first… before I knew it, the boyfriend pulled him off of me… I grabbed a bathrobe that was hanging and I ran… I just… ran…" She shook her head and brushed off Doctor Richard's hand. He made a move to put it back on but paused and pulled back._

" _I'm sorry that happened," he said apologetically._

" _Just… tell me… is he really a half-breed?"_

 _Doctor Richard sighed and then nodded "It's very likely. If he was part steel type pokemon then he would only feel the tiniest bit of pressure from a fall or punch or almost anything really. It wouldn't scar either because nothing was injured in the first place. Like that syringe, I couldn't poke through because a steel type's skin would be extremely tough"_

 _My mom didn't respond anymore, she was staring right through him. Then she folded her arms and exhaled. "Did you ever give him a vaccine before?"_

" _No, Lauren. I never have, not even when he was a baby."_

 _I expected her to get mad at him but she never skipped a beat. "...And he hasn't ever gotten sick…"_

" _Steel types aren't typically susceptible to poison, or in this case, illness."_

 _My mom raised her head back up to the doctor, holding a strong face. "Are you still going to run the test?"_

" _Yes, there still is a minute chance it may not be the case," he scratched the back of his head. "I'll drop it off at the lab on my way back."_

" _Thank you so much for this Doctor Richard."_

 _He nodded and walked to the front door. I quickly sat back down in front of the television and placed my lollipop in my mouth, so fast that it clicked against my teeth. There was no pain, and for the first time in my life, I attributed that to me being part Bisharp._

 _My mom came in and pulled me into a hug. Her breathing sounded ragged but she kept strong. "I love you James," she said, tightening her hug._

" _I love you too mommy."_

 _Two days later, we got the results back. I was playing in my room when she called me down for her to talk to me. I came out and stepped-_

* * *

-off the stairs. Kyle was idling at the bottom and started walking beside me when I passed him. "Hey James?" he asked.

"Yeah? What's up?" I began finger-combing my hair, letting the knots unravel.

"Are you still okay with playing with us? We kind of pushed you into it and I want to make sure you're really willing to do this," he said hesitantly.

Initially I thought yes. Back in my room, it seemed like a great idea to finally get out of the house. Having fun with friends sounded so ideal. As I came down the stairs however, my sense of doubt had gone up. Maybe it wouldn't be as good. Maybe, by playing with my pokemon friends, I'm just admitting that I am a half-breed. But I didn't want that, it's because I am a half-breed that I've thrown away almost everything in my life. I was about to say no until I saw Kyle's face. He was _scared_ , not of me but of my answer. My head started filling with empathy and that feeling of optimism again. I didn't just want to do this, I _needed_ to do this. They were doing this for my sake and I should accept that.

"Yeah, I am Kyle. You don't have to worry," I said, pulling my hand away from my hair and scratching Kyle's head. He smiled at it.

"We were thinking of playing hide and seek, is that fine with you?"

"Sure." To a few, hide and seek may seem like a rather childish game for a seventeen year old to be playing but it wasn't. The forest that was next to our house's backyard gave us plenty of spots to hide and even more space to run when the seeker found the hider. Even though we had played it for over ten years together, there were so many places to hide it never got old.

"Alright, Lex said she wanted to hide so I'll give you a thirty second head start to hide," he said, reaching up to the handle of the sliding doors. "And I'm counting now."

A brief sense of panic struck me. Kyle's height, slightly shorter than Lex, made it hard for him to move the sliding door and would take that much longer for him to open it wide enough so I could get through. I grabbed the handle overtop his hand, feeling him flinch as I did, and pulled the door wide open to the backyard. Then, I ran.

Lex was in the backyard laying in the grass, resting with her elbows folded under her head. She sat up at the sight of me, "Look who decided to finally get out of the house and your hair is-," she said, not giving the caring tone one might expect.

"Notimegottahide!" I yelled, running past her. I didn't hear her response as I ducked into the forest and kept up my speed. I ran barefoot, it always was more comfortable without shoes when we played.

Behind the wall of brush and low hanging branches, the forest opened up greatly with wide tree trunks merging into the soft green moss on the ground. Several ferns were placed between the leafy giants and a canopy above that let just the right amount of sunlight in. It wasn't as large nor glorious as Eterna Forest but it was damn near close.

I ran for a solid two minutes and came across a reasonably sized tree and shimmied up the trunk. My arms were snug against the tree's bark, I pressed into it hard, making sure I didn't lose grip. Even if the worst consequences I might get from a fall were some dirty clothes and getting found in our game.

The first branch was just over ten feet up and wide enough for both legs. I swung my body over it and got myself comfortable. Kyle and/or Lex would still take time to find me in the expanse. I leaned against the trunk and enjoyed the forest.

In my house and backyard, I always felt there was something else, never visible and maybe not even human, that wavered around me, always disturbing. In the forest is was just me, it felt natural. Why hadn't I come out here earlier? Just one minute here was so much better than all that time in my room. Maybe it had to do with me being a half-breed.

Yeah, maybe it had to do with the guy who made nearly everyone run away from him. The guy who's just an obstacle to the people who stuck around. The guy who threw his life away just trying to get a chance at losing his virginity. "Tell me a secret," Jenna had said, "and I'll show you what's under my shorts." And I decided to tell her the big one. Any other would have been fine but why do another secret when you can tell the one that'll fuck up your life something fierce?

The picture in my mind started coming into focus. Jenna was sitting on my lap with her shirt tossed onto the floor, a pair of firm breasts were staring at me. My erection was pressing against her mini shorts. We were kissing, my hands ran through her olive coloured hair and gave her breasts the occasional squeeze. She said she wanted to have sex with me, I had never seen her as the horny type but she claimed that six months of dating was more than enough time for assurance. Then she asked for a fucking secret. "It'll keep us together," she had said.

So I told her, and things got really quiet. I suppose this part was the calm before the storm. Too bad the calm didn't last longer.

"You're messing with me, right James? Like, oh my Arceus! That's a pretty good joke!" she said. Yep, that's me, the best damn joker around. I should have told her I was joking but I just _had_ to tell her the truth.

Then I shook my head and she let her head drop. In a last ditch effort to save the situation, I acted as if it was no big deal and squeezed her breast softly, big mistake there.

She pushed herself off me and-

* * *

- _lost balance. Jenna collapsed onto the living room floor trying to get off me. Her arm that she was using to cover her breasts went to her thigh where she impacted._

" _Shit! Jenna, are you alright?" I said, jumping off the couch. I knelt down beside and tried to help her up but the second my hand touched her arm, she recoiled away from me. She pushed herself further away, a terrified expression pasted on her._

" _Get away you… you_ freak _! Leave me alone!" she yelled, gripping at the ground and pushing away even faster._

 _How she said 'freak' really hurt me. No one else had known about what I was up to that moment. What I didn't learn until later was the majority of people saw half-breeds as, well, freaks of nature; something that should not be. People were afraid of what kind of things a half-breed could do, some had been linked to serious crimes like robbery… and even murder._

 _Still, I kept up, I really wanted her to not be afraid. Unfortunately, trying to catch up with her really hurt my chances at that. "Jenna, just because I'm a half-breed doesn't mean anything will change between us!"_

" _I am not going to fuck a half Bisharp freak! Now get away!"_

 _I could have stopped there, let her get up and run out of the house. But I was so damn determined for her to see half-breeds in a different light. I grabbed her wrist and held it tight. "It wasn't my choice to be this way alright?! It's not like I can just change it right here and now! We've been together for half a year without knowing that I'm a half-breed and I'm sure we could make it a full year with the knowledge! Let's just… keep doing the things we always did, alright?"_

 _Her face was had a static expression of fear and I looked down to realize why she was like that. My hand was gripping her wrist so hard her fingers were several shades whiter than her forearm. Worse, her leg was in between mine and my erection was pressing hard against my technical pants, and her leg._

 _Jenna screamed. I pulled my hand away instinctively and she leapt up to her feet. "We're done, you hear me?! I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU!" She ran to the door and flung it open so hard it nearly fell off its hinges._

 _What she said numbed me, so much so I didn't hear the slam of the door. I didn't get up, instead I lied down on the floor and-_

* * *

-gripped the branch as my legs started to slide off. I readjusted them and exhaled.

I knew something was wrong when the next day at school all eyes were pointed in my direction. I didn't think she actually told anyone about me being a half-breed, it was probably just about the breakup.

Until a stray piece of paper on the hallway floor changed my mind. It was written crudely but came across crystal clear.

'James is a half-breed freak'

The next day I didn't go to school, nor the day after that, and so on. None of my friends had texted me, and when I tried to text them, I got the same message back over and over. 'You have been blocked by this user.' The only people I had left were gone.

I shook my head, who am I kidding? Friends were supposed to stick together, if they left just at the word of me being a half-breed they should have stayed by me, right? In fact, why would it matter if I was one or not? We had played for years and suddenly at the idea that I'm different they leave? They weren't really friends. Arceus, I sounded like my mom or a children's book with this 'are they really your friends' spiel.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and closed my eyes, it might be a while until Kyle and/or Lex to find me in the forest. No reason not to rest, even for a few-

"Hey dummy! Don't fall asleep now! You've been found!" Lex yelled, snapping my eyes back open.

I looked down and saw her and Kyle staring back up. I smiled. _Yeah, those are my_ real _friends._ I stood up on the tree branch and put a smug look on. "Well, come up here and get me then."

Lex got a pissed off expression on. She was afraid of heights, it's been that way since she was a Sneasel and got stuck in a tree like this one. While what I was doing was a tad cruel, she had played unfairly before so she knew this was completely fair game.

"I get that you just decided you didn't want to sit on your ass for the rest of your life but don't fucking stay up there forever!" Lex shouted, stomping her feet. She started scratching the tree, stripping the bark and revealing the pale, smooth heartwood. Her claws were sharp, and made a quite a dent, but she wouldn't cut the tree down as much as she would climb all the way up it. She still cared about the forest as it was her and Kyle's home.

Kyle himself was just grinning. He didn't really care if I was cheating or not, I think he was just happy that I finally got out here. He said Lex feels the same way but seeing as she was always the abrasive character, it made sense it a little harder to decode her. Kyle was very forward with emotion, it made him easy to talk to.

"Lex, I can get him down," he said, reaching behind him. He pulled out his wooden wand from his tail. It didn't take long for a realization to occur.

"Hey, you can't do that! That's actually cheating!" I said, inside I had a grin plastered on. This was the stuff we did before everything went to shit. I was glad they convinced me to do this.

Kyle's wand gained a magenta hue around it and I instantly felt weightless. _Psychic type,_ I thought _Kyle with his silly moves._ The branch from under my feet had been replaced by null. "I will give you some time to run so use it wisely," he said. I started thrashing around in his psychic grasp, trying to get back to the tree. Slowly, he made my body move down. I sighed _Alright, time to run_.

His hold then broke on me and I fell all the way to the forest floor, landing on some moss. It caught me a little off guard, Kyle would never try to hurt me even if I couldn't feel the pain he was trying to inflict.

"Lex! Why did you do that?" I heard him say as I began admiring the plush feel of the moss.

"You always take too long with your psychic, I'm not gonna wait an hour to keep playing," Lex said.

"If you hit my wand any harder it would have snapped!" he said with a bit of whine.

"You could make another, and James is fine, right James?"

I put my hands out and stood myself up. My shirt was caked with dirt and I quickly brushed it off. The event had shocked me but I was a little shaken. I turned around and saw them. Kyle's wand was on the ground, in the middle, where Lex most likely hit it, there was a small crack. He was giving Lex a dirty glare but tried to hide it when he saw me looking. "I'm fine guys but you really shouldn't have done that Lex," I walked towards them.

Lex shrugged, "I'm not wrong, Kyle's psychic is slow, I was just speeding up the process." She suddenly rubbed Kyle's head, making him reveal the glare. "But it's fine, he'll figure it out sometime."

Kyle ducked his head from any further scratches and picked up his wand. "I've figured this much out!" he said and jumped away from Lex. His wand lit up with the familiar hue and shot out a pink blast of psychic energy.

The energy collided with Lex but you wouldn't know it if you were looking right at it. It immediately dissipated against the Weavile's fur. The part of the shot that didn't hit her continued on and collided into a tree where it left discoloured bark on its impact.

Lex laughed "Come on, Kyle, you know I'm a dark type, that barely tickled."

Kyle started trudging forward, his wand was beginning to become strained from how tight he was gripping it. I stepped forward and clapped him on the shoulder.

"This isn't worth it Kyle, you know she's gonna be the one to push your buttons. I know it, she knows it and you know it," I said. I squatted down to his level and hugged him from behind.

After some time, I felt two paws on my arms around him. "Okay… I'm okay now," he said and pushed me off. He turned around and gave me a proper hug this time. His little tufts of hair on his cheeks were a tad awkward to work around but it was ultimately fine.

I looked up and saw Lex pouting. "You gonna say your sorry?" I asked her and motioned to join the little hug Kyle and I were having. She looked around as if she was debating over options that didn't exist and finally mouthed 'sorry' to me and came over to join us. Kyle squeaked a little when she pressed in but sank into it.

Without warning, I broke the hug and started running off. "Sorry to break it up but we gotta keep playing!" I said back to them as my legs carried me away. _Just like before, their probably gonna give me a solid minute to run freely and then catch up to me in like two seconds._

It wasn't really two seconds when they caught up but I didn't care.

* * *

The day was cut a bit short when nature opened the clouds and released the rain. We agreed it was time to call it and began walking back to my house. By the time we got there, it had been transformed into a quagmire of mud and grass.

"Be safe James, alright?" Kyle said, hugging me one last time before I went inside.

"Of course, how about we play again tomorrow?" I said, breaking the embrace and slid the door open.

"You better, I still gotta get you back for that cheap move back there," Lex said, snickering.

I laughed a little too and stepped inside, giving the two of them a small wave. I slid the door shut behind me. It was a fun day today, the most fun I had had in weeks. Though considering the last few weeks were of little to no activity, the bar wasn't set exceptionally high.

I turned to the hallway and went up the stairs. Yep, I had fun with my pokemon friends.

 _You had fun with them because you're a half-breed._

The thought appeared out of nowhere, I hadn't been thinking that way since in that tree. The smile I had on faded down into a frown. No. No, it didn't matter if I was a half-breed or not. I had fun with my friends.

 _But you are a half-breed. And you're a freak too. That's right, you're just another freak who plays with his pokemon friends because your too much of a freak to play with normal friends._

No! It wasn't true, I was just a half-breed who had pokemon friends. Plenty of other people have pokemon friends.

 _Yeah, but do you wanna know what they also have?_ _ **Real**_ _friends too, you got it?_ _ **Real human**_ _friends._

My mind stuttered, then started caving into the voice. Arguments were made and thrown out at a faster pace. The voice was right, I was a freak. I stopped in the middle of the stairs and sat down on a step.

At door of my mind, a little feeling was knocking and I subconsciously happened to have left the door unlocked.

 _Hey! Remember me? It's Depression! I heard you were feeling a little too good today so I decided to show up and make sure that doesn't happen again! Hope you don't mind if I just hang out here for a little while!_

I didn't even try to shut it out. It was true. I felt tears starting to streak my cheeks. My hand remained at my side, not making the slightest effort to brush the tears away. Yes, that's right. Half-breed. Freak. They were basically synonymous with one another.

I leaned my head against the stair banister, it wasn't easy to admit but I wasn't sure if I wanted Lex and Kyle to be my friends anymore. Arceus, I didn't want to think about that.

I really didn't.

* * *

I woke up in ache and soon found out why. My body was contorted into an uncomfortable position at the bottom of the stairs. It seemed insane that I managed to fall asleep on the stairs in my state of mind. Moreover, I had fallen down the stairs and still didn't wake up, any time I had accidentally fallen out of bed I still woke up from it. Why not this time?

I shook it off, it wasn't important. What was really strange is I didn't feel the depression anymore. I was no expert on the subject but I knew depression didn't just leave you. No, my head was filled with optimism again. While it felt good to be that way again, the latent idea of 'why' still existed.

I adjusted my body so I sat upright and laid down on the hardwood. It was almost like it was over a decade ago and I was waiting. Waiting for my mom to come rushing in and be worried sick about me. I wished I could change it, be it so she wouldn't notice the fall and I could just carry on without knowing what I was.

The optimism snapped back. I didn't want to change it, this was who I was and I should be proud of it. Yeah, my mom cared about me and wanted me to live out my life proud of who I was. So damn me to hell if I didn't, I needed to do this.

From somewhere in the house, a cell phone vibration went off. Was it really so late in the morning that the school was calling right now? I got up and sauntered over to the kitchen, the oven clock read a quarter past ten. Fuck, I slept for that long? My stomach growled, I opened a cupboard and took out a loaf of bread. I popped them in the toaster and tried to mull over what had happened yesterday.

We had played hide and seek and I was happy we did. I really was happy, and yet, depression decided to come bite me in the ass when I least expected it. How? How did I avoid depression until I went into the house? It couldn't have been because I was playing with them, I felt that sudden drop in mood when I was in the tree. Even being an honour roll student, this answer eluded me very well.

The toast popped up and I ate it plain. There was a moment of debate of whether or not I should go up to my room again. I decided not because frankly, considering yesterday, I might not even make it up the stairs.

I walked to the sliding doors and opened them up, feeling the light draft of spring air. The rain had subsided for now but the grey clouds above foretold the precipitation would make a hasty return sooner than later. The ground had hardened into a rather gummy mud substance but puddles were still scattered all over the backyard.

The bushes at the far end of the backyard shook. Lex came out of them, quickly followed by Kyle.

"Wow, I think your hair somehow got worse," Lex said.

"Your fur would too if you spent the entire night at the bottom of the stairs," I replied, patting down my hair so it wouldn't be sticking out erratically.

"What? Why were you…" Kyle started and then gained a frightened look. "Did you relapse?"

They approached and I shrugged. "I don't know."

"But… we were having fun! I could tell you were getting better, what happened?" he said, his ears dropping.

"I went inside, then the thoughts started coming. But it was weird 'cause this morning I felt completely fine," I said, scratching his and Lex's ears. There was a great feeling that was welling up when I was with them, it was that same feeling of optimism. We're they really so important to me that they make the difference between depression and elation? Maybe, just maybe.

"You'll figure out why. You have a big head even if you don't use it often," Lex said. I gained a small smile.

"That's fair but I use it enough to come up with more original comebacks," I quipped. She stopped my hand scratching her any further.

"Didn't you say we were playing hide and seek again today?" Lex said, looking away with her arms folded. My smile grew a bit, she was pretty cute when she was outplayed in her own game. It didn't happen often, so she made sure the moment lasted short.

"He did, but I'm not sure now.." Kyle said, also stopping my arm. "Do you really want this? Are you feeling good enough?" He reached out and held my wrist. His warm fire type fur felt nice on my skin. Then, almost like it was his kryptonite, he pulled away.

I was ninety percent sure I was ready to go and play. In this kind of light though, ten percent seemed a lot bigger than it should be. Even if we go have about as much or more fun than yesterday, what if it would be all for nothing? What if I relapsed again? What if something worse than falling asleep on the stairs resulted from it? Yet, that ninety percent seemed to grow larger the more I thought about it. The idea of being thrown back in the depression cycle was virtually shoved out. Now, ninety five percent. It was enough for me.

"I think so, guys. I want to have as much fun as you do. I'll be the seeker this time if that's alright," I said, giving a reassured look. They looked a little hesitant but nodded eventually. "Okay, in that case I'll give you thirty seconds to hide," I shoved my hands in my pockets "and I'm counting now."

"Oh you jerk! I'll get you for…" Lex's voice trailed off as she disappeared into the woods. Kyle shortly followed.

The game had begun.

* * *

Half an hour later and I still had found no trace of them. They were certainly good hiders but this was beginning to seem a little absurd that I had not caught them yet. The relaxing natural ambiance had helped me relieve my worries once again. During my little escapade for my friends, the clouds had begun crackling with lightning and booming thunder. _Might only get one round in today_ I thought, being aware of the stray mud puddles littering the ground.

I really wished I had figured out what happened with my depression back in the house because as much as nature helped me relax, it also appeared to hinder my thought process a decent bit. No biggie, it just kept me focussed on the game at hand.

A little nagging was left in me that I was nearly certain was wrong. It felt odd to even pretend to think about it but a smidge of me imagined that there was something off about the two of them today. It wasn't uncommon to see Kyle with a flustered or nervous demeanor but this was different. As if he was hiding something. The same was with Lex, even though she acted pretty well in character, she could rebuttal what I had said before but it appeared to not have even crossed her mind . _Too many things on her mind, cluttering up everything else,_ I thought, _not just me and my depression, something more._

I heard a rustle, luring my attention from my thoughts to the bush adjacent to me. It could have been either of them. I remained idle, listening for a secondary sound to reveal the location.

I waited and knelt down to the bush, it was thin, very few branches and mostly leaves. A perfect location for hiding and not for seeking. You couldn't see inside very far. Interested, I stuck my arm inside the bush and mazed through the light branches. The leaves dragged across my hand and wrist, they became thick in the middle but thinned quick. Almost immediately, a faint crackle of dead leaves came out. _Hehe, got you now._ I got back up and exhaled. After a moment of preparing myself, I ran forward and kamikaze dived into that bush. I went in…

...and Kyle and I tumbled out. We rolled two times and ended with him laying half on me and half on the ground. He rubbed his head and groaned.

"Ow… if you knew I was here you could have just said so," Kyle said.

"I'm sorry Kyle, I guess I wasn't thinking. Are you okay?" I said, rubbing his head to try and ease the ache.

 _You stupid half-breed freakshow. You had to just mess up and hurt your only remaining friends. He probably got a concussion and it's all your fucking fault._

The thought snapped into my head almost instantaneously and stopped me from rubbing Kyle any further. The depression, it had suddenly retaliated against the confident thoughts and had driven them deep into the ground. First yesterday, now this? My mind was beginning to feel like a battleground, each side taking their shots at the other.

My head turned down and I ended up looking at the ground - No, not _at_ the ground, _through_ it - while the depression side of the battlefield readied an assault wave and launched it forward.

 _You don't deserve Kyle or Lex, you're worthless to them and at the end of the day, they're gonna be the ones who are hurt while you get be as perfect as you went in. Oh, and guess what? Good ol' mom? She's being held by back that freak side of you too. Remember how you checked it that one time and saw that text from one of her boyfriends. How it read "I don't want to spend my life with your freak son". And who would, honestly? You're just a-_

The assault wave was suddenly wiped out in one fell swoop, leaving half the battlefield a void. Now the confident thoughts were marching forward, unhindered by any forces. The shock of the change made my muscles tense and my head shoot back up. Kyle was looking at me and had his paw on my shoulder. He was sitting upright and his face was full of worry.

"James? Is something wrong?" he said.

I breathed in and out, calming myself of what had happened. I looked right at him and tried to grin truthfully but I doubt it really assured him. "Yeah, something just happened really fast. Like my depression just came out of nowhere and then disappeared just as quick," I said. But my smile faded even quicker than that. Because I had just began to look down at the ground again when a thing in Kyle's hand caught my attention, it was his wand, and it was glowing the magenta hue. Then the glimmer was gone. I felt something click in my head but it wasn't really a singular click, rather a cacophony of them. My smile's corners drooped down into a frown. My eyes were giving getting a bit watery, but no tears had formed yet. What I had realized, it felt like a stab in the gut, if I could feel what that was like.

"James… what- what's wrong?" he said, his voice was shaky. He had realized what I had figured out. I brushed his paw off. He replaced it immediately and this time I practically shoved him off.

"Go away Kyle…"

He sat back up straight and didn't reach towards me again. "I… don't understand… what do you mean?"

My anger was rising steadily. "You know _damn well_ what I mean!" I yelled, standing up suddenly, feeling a light head rush run through my head. I walked a short distance and pushed my hand against a near tree, propping myself up. I put my other hand over my eyes and let the tears start to flow. Not many came out, but they were there. "You and Lex _fucking know_ what I mean."

"James, I think you just relapsed again, let's head back to your house alright? M-maybe you'll feel better then," Kyle said. I heard him take a few more steps but I turned around and made him retreat.

"No, no I won't feel better because all these good, happy, sunshine-rainbow thoughts I've had are all fake! Their all fucking fake!" I felt my anger increase tenfold, it was so hard to believe Kyle, out of anyone, would do something like this to me. But knowing that he did, it made so irate, nearly enraged. I stepped forward and he cowered slightly.

"They're… they're not James!" He raised a hand to protect himself.

"Yes they are, Kyle!" I shouted at him. I then turned away, leaning against the tree once again. "And you know that too," I added, lowering my voice to a whisper. As I kept thinking about what had occurred, another piece went into place. Lex was in on this too. She helped Kyle. That piece of information made the ire grow faster than before.

"What's going on? You guys are making enough noise to wake the dead," Lex's voice came from behind Kyle. She stepped out of the bushes and into the little piece of clear ground we had. I saw the laid-back expression drain from her as she became aware of what was happening. "W-w-why are you crying?"

My hands had clenched themselves into fists so tight they were trembling. Was Lex always there and just came out when she needed to? Or was this a coincidence? In the moment, I didn't care. "You… _you knew too,_ " I nearly hissed at her.

She had a confused appearance but as she took a glance over at Kyle's, it shifted immediately a mimic of his. "But, I don't… understand."

"They aren't fake James! I didn't do anything! I don't know what you're talking about! Me and Lex both!" Kyle spouted out, shocking us both. He had lowered his arm and taking an active, yet defensive, stance. "We just want to have fun but we want you to be safe! You just relapsed and-"

"I didn't relapse! You are just saying I did because _you_ messed up! You tried to fix me and fucked up! _Not that you should have been trying anyway_ ," I said, pointing a finger at Kyle and jabbing at the air towards him. His stature collapsed, the wand in his hand was shaking. _Scared_ , I thought, and maybe he should be, pissed off was an understatement at this point. I took my thumb and forefinger and rubbed my eyelids, more tears came out. I began tasting the saltiness on my lips, a bit ran down and dribbling off my chin.

"I don't understand… what are you talking about?" Lex said, starting to come in between me and Kyle.

"Don't give me that shit Lex, you know exactly what this is about."

"I don't James! I have no idea!"

"Stop giving me that weak excuse! You have a pretty fucking good idea of what this is!" I said, taking a threatening step forward. To the side of us, Kyle made a meagre whine while his ears were firmly pressed down against his head. Lex held her ground, staring back into my teary eyes as strong as she could. _Don't deny this Lex, you're very aware of what you did._

"I. Don't. Know. James."

I growled under my breath. "So you don't know that you and Kyle got together and thought to yourselves, 'Gee, James isn't getting better so you know what would be just the greatest idea ever? Getting Kyle to hijack his head and pump it full of optimism! And when we think we've done a good enough job we'll just let go and give him a relapse!' Except you _do_ know that and those fucking relapses were fucking horrible!" That's what they did alright, but how? How could they do this knowing what it would do to me?

Lex sighed and steadied her voice. "Look James, Kyle's psychic is weak, remember? He could barely move you, how could he possibly mess with your mind?" she said, being reasonable. I almost believed her at that point, then it would have been so much different but I remembered that moment in the forest and I found something in it. It was so forced. There was practically no motive behind it.

"Don't lie Lex, the two of you set that thing up in the forest, just so you could have that damn excuse but _I_ know you. You always do your actions when we affect _you_. A slow psychic was hardly a problem back there. And why tell me that he's a slow psychic when the last time I saw him using his power was a month ago, only to show that he somehow didn't improve during that time."

I could tell that Lex got somewhat lost in my words but came off silent nonetheless. Her eyes crept downwards to the floor. So that was it then, they really did it. They really pushed inside of my head and messed everything up. They dealt the only pain I could feel, mental pain.

"... I'm… I'm… s-" Kyle started but my anger had clouded my thoughts so much I cut him off.

"You're what? Sorry? Oh, I'm sure you are! Honestly Kyle, I thought you psychics were supposed to be smart but clearly that isn't true! _You_ did this to me Kyle! _You did this_!"

"I-I did… this?"

"Did I stutter?"

Kyle didn't reply and I was left with silence, interrupted often by my sniffling. My tears had never stopped flowing, only between my angry bouts of speech did they slow even a little.

"James, stop attacking Kyle. You're taking this too far," Lex said.

It was too much, I snapped. "I'm taking it toofar?! _I'm the one taking it too far?!_ You should look at yourself Lex! You and Kyle tampered with my brain and made me think I was completely alright! But I wasn't. And now you say _I'm_ taking it too far?! What. A bunch. Of _fucking_. _Shit!_ " Then, I did something I really shouldn't have. I turned back to Kyle and said "You are not my friend Kyle, got that? You are not my friend!" Then, I placed a hand against his chest and shoved him away. He stumbled twice on his feet and hit the ground, letting out a groan. I didn't even care if he got hurt.

Before I could turn back to Lex to deliver the same message, she pounced on top of me. I landed on my back and she straddled me down, placing her knees down against my arms. She raised her claws up and they glowed an intense white. "You're so stupid! You're supposed to smart but you're not!" she yelled. Her right claw swung down and batted me across the cheek. I could feel my skin being pushed downward by them but nothing. Still no pain. "You wanna hate being a half-breed? Fine!" Next, her other paw came down, slashing the opposite cheek.

I didn't fight back, there was nothing _to_ fight back. My mind was already made up, the two of them didn't mean anything to me, Lex could slash me through the day and night and it wouldn't change what I thought.

"You wanna keep blaming yourself for what happened? Fine!" Another slash.

As the battering continued I began thinking of other things. What was I going to do now? Just keep sulking? Maybe not. There was a word that had begun incessantly blaring in my head when I had figured everything out.

"You wanna believe that no one else cares about you? Fine! Fucking fine!" Another slash.

I knew that word. It was called 'suicide' and before it always had a very dark and sad meaning to it. But the idea was so comforting, actual release from the hell I was in. I could be done with this world. But how to do it, I couldn't just slash my wrists or neck. A noose? No, making it would take too much time and I would be scared out of it. Jumping out of a building? In the off chance the steel type in me stops the death, I would be held by the hospital and not given the opportunity to try it again. Overdose? That might do it. There were some painkillers left over from when my mom tore her ACL. A handful of those and-

"But we're your friends and we care! We care so much! We would still care if you were a human!" Lex screamed, raw emotion pouring out of her.

A spark, there was a spark somewhere. It lit up everytime she swiped at my face. It felt the most intense right underneath my right eye, it was nearly hot in a sense and jagged too. The sensation was so otherworldly. Every single slash began increasing the spark's power.

"We want you to be happy James! Do you want to know why?" Lex said. She began slashing at a faster rate, the sparks flew bigger and brighter than before.

"Stop Lex! This won't fix anything!" I heard Kyle say. A brief glimpse showed him attempting to pull Lex off me but another strike from her sent my head off to the side, blocking the view.

There were so many sparks now, each giving me a shock as Lex's claws came down. They actually felt like they were making an impact. The spot under my eye felt it was being nearly engulfed by the little shards Lex's claws sent down upon it. If there were a feeling I could put to it, it would be cracking. She was cracking that spot on my face.

"We want you to be happy because we love you James! Did you hear that? We love you!" she exclaimed.

The crack grew, breaking through the layers of skin. Each moment passing, the skin burned further.

"Damn it, WE LOVE YOU!" One more slash.

Then everything released. A blinding jag of energy exploded under my right eye. The claw felt like it had dug into the skin, had actually _broken_ the skin. The feeling that resulted was white hot, sharp and strangely whole. On impact, a razor-edged ringing shot through my head, it sounded like when there is complete silence and that solitary note plays in your ear, except the volume was cranked all the way up. The burning was driving me psychotic. My eyes were shot, unblinking at the sensation.

A trickle of liquid came down the side of my face, it was neither hot nor cold to me. The liquid trailed down and touched my lips, it tasted like metal. The feeling of jaggedness came forth once more, coming almost in waves. Seemingly random at first, then I recognized it was in tandem with my heartbeat. And Arceus, _the burning._ _The burning was terrible._

"James… I'm sorry… I didn't…" Lex said, backing off of me, her eyes wide. The tips of her claws were speckled with scarlet. Was it the same liquid on my face? I didn't know, everything in my head was swimming, thoughts started and were lost in the whirlwind of sensation.

Lex's fear deepened as I didn't reply. The burning was stopping it. But knowing what I would say was even beyond me without it. "It was… not… I didn't think…" she said, tears glistened in the corners of her eyes. "Please… no… don't be mad…" I paid little attention to her shaky language. She turned away and ran off.

My breath was stabilizing, but the burning raged on. Fiery tendrils were wrapped around my brain and the spot under my eye, constricting further every passing moment.

"Uh… uh.. I…" Kyle said, I still didn't take notice of my surroundings. I heard him step on the ground from about two miles away. Only walking, then his pace matched Lex's and he too, was gone.

The ground was a lot harder than I remember it being moments ago, the clumps of dirt became amplified, making my position as tolerable as the sensation that had taken over my being. I sat up and brought my hand to my eye. My body stiffened and I let out a light groan, the skin was sensitive, way too sensitive. The fingers that came back to my vision were coated in vermillion, the same that Lex had on her claws. Curious, I brought them to be mouth and tasted the tip of one, the same metal taste. I spat it out, the saliva was cloudy with red.

The burning continued, it had lessened, but it remained and I couldn't shake it. Why? What was this burning? I could hardly stand it. Alien was one way to describe it, but hostile was much more perfect. The perfection of the word was something I did not want, I did not want this _fucking burning_.

Carefully, I stood myself up. My head swam at the movement, making me dizzy and nauseous. Getting straight, I held for a moment to ease the swimming which appeared to have made itself right at home in me. I took a shaky step and staggered forward, I put out my arms and fell to the ground. My eyes saw double, triple, quad- my stomach lurched, the light breakfast I had was attempting to make its escape. My mouth went shut as the nausea continued, I desperately swallowed disgustingly to keep whatever I had in my gut down and after an eternity, it was done.

 _Oh Arceus, what the hell is wrong with me?_

I put my hand to my forehead, it was beaded with sweat and it throbbed constantly. I shook my head and began crawling to the tree in front of me. It was a slow and arduous process but eventually I hooked an arm around the trunk and brought myself all the way up again. I stopped there, keeping my head from swimming. Why can't this _stupid burning_ just _burn_ and nothing else? This… this was hell, there was no other way to put it.

Some time passed, a lot of time I supposed, because the rain that had been built up in the clouds above sprinkled down into the forest. Drops landed all over and the occasional trailed down my neck and gave me a shiver. I dubiously unhooked my arm and took one step forth. _So far, so good._ One more step, a light fuzz came over me but I kept strong. _Come on James, don't mess up now._ I breathed out, taking two more steps. The fuzziness deepened but my sight was stable. _Okay, easy as pie. It'll be fine, just keep taking more steps to the house and oh fuck the burning. Why is it still here, why does it still burn, why does it make me sweaty and dizzy and_ _ **oh Arceus it's way too much**_ _._ _**Why? WHY?**_

* * *

I pushed the bushes out and came face to face with my house. The backyard was pretty much one large ocean of light brown water, isolated blades of grass lightly populated the ground. One pace onward and my foot sunk into the liquidated ground, I shuddered and begrudgingly went onward. The burning had finally dulled for the moment but the nausea still played like a record over and over in my head. Though, there was a thought barely making it through, I wondered about what Lex had done, what was this burning she had brought upon me?

I slogged through the mud and reached the sliding doors which were streaked with raindrops when a knot in my stomach formed and made me double over. _Don't. Don't do it James. Keep it down._ It was getting hard with each episode of this, but I managed. I rested my hand on the door's handle and pulled, it was stiff but gave way and I folded onto my knee inside. My head was pointed down at the floor and I breathed unevenly. There was a drop, a red coloured drop hit the floor. Another drop. Another. I put my hand to my face once more and felt a sickly stickiness covering the entire right side. _Eughh,_ was the only word I could think of. I rubbed my fingers together and burgundy coloured flakes fell off. I couldn't believe this, what kind of punishment was this? Was it a punishment? I didn't know. Perhaps I shouldn't know.

"James, you are going to get sick and then go insane if you think about this any more," I whispered to myself. That was definitely true. I couldn't think about it anymore than I could understand it. But, so help me, I wanted to know what this was! I stood up once more, and hopefully for the last time in my current state.

I walked, clutching my stomach and red liquid dripping from my face, and eventually gripped the stair banister. _Come on, you got this._ I took the first stair up and felt the stomach knot tie itself tight. I shook it off and quickly took three more steps before my mind could register it. My sight doubled once more and I took two more. The knot was way too tight. One more step. My legs buckled and I subsided into the stairs. The burning side of my face hit a stair and my eyes shot wide. The burning came full force once more and all of its friends too, who I wished had left the party a long time ago. _Why do you do this to me? I can't go on like this._

But I did, I gritted my teeth and crawled up those stairs. And the burning was still there, everlasting with my body. I reached the top stair and laid down on the second floor finally. I sighed. The bathroom. I needed a mirror, needed to see what this burning looked like, needed to put a face on it. Crawling, again, was the only tool at my disposal.

The bathroom door knob was so much more higher from the ground than I thought. I breathed deeply, focussing my strength and ignoring the burning for a moment. I shot up, gripped the knob and twisted it before I slipped off and went back to the ground. _No! Fuck!_ I felt my breathing shake and eyes water, I was going to cry. _Not now, James, don't cry, you can do it._ I sniffled and pressed my head against the bathroom door. Then, it opened. It actually opened. It opened to the white tiles of heaven. _Finally, a break._ I pushed it further and went inside.

The bathroom was small, contrasting to the size of the house but had the basic accommodations. The sink was nearly at the door and I had never been more grateful for it, the mirror was directly above it. Unfortunately, it was probably higher up than the knob. _Gotta jump up again, if you mess up you could hit the burn, then it would start again and you would feel the burning and the nausea and the_ _ **\- Just do it already!**_

I jumped and my fingers latched onto the lip of the sink. Then, before the strain became too much, I reached further and caught my elbow on the edge. The leverage was enough, and I was finally back onto my feet. _Time to see this monster of burning._

I looked into the mirror and saw the monster staring back. The entire right side of my face under my eye was a plague of red with only two tiny patches of skin shown through. My eyes were bloodshot and the whites of them were merging with the paleness of my skin. The pale tone wrapped around the entirety of my face and stretched into the base of my neck. At the source of the burning, a drop of red oozed out, crawled across the stained cheek, dropped off and splattered into the sink basin.

Mesmerized by my appearance, I was unaware of my arm going over and turning on the cold water. I ran my hand under it for a solid ten seconds, it was unnecessary but… _that was me_. _I was nauseated, pale, and dripping red liquid._

I took my hand and rubbed it against the red, being careful to keep it away from the burn. It came off effortlessly and flaked into the sink. As the mask came off, an epiphany was beginning to form. The shape of the burn was coming into focus. I uneasily wetted my hand again and scrubbed the burn, it lit up slightly but some relief set over it. I saw it, the burn. And what was behind it.

It was two triangular indents, rough sided, in the skin angled toward the bridge of my nose. The indents were pink and red lining it of which it was beginning to leak, The points closest to you nose leaking much more profusely. The fluid was now more translucent, yet the burn did not leave. But I knew what this burning was. This burning, the sensation, the nausea; this was pain. This was actually pain. And the red liquid was actually blood; _I was bleeding_.

I could feel my breathing accelerating, this… how?! I'm part steel type, how was this supposed to happen? It shouldn't be possible for me to feel pain. But I am, I'm feeling it right now, and my blood is coming out of me. I have a wound. Lex hit me with her claws and gave me a wound. And now… now I… _wow._

There was a sudden interest that flared inside as I took in my face. Half clean and half wounded, it gave almost an exotic sight. Almost like seeing the divide inside me. Part human, part pokemon. What was so odd was the part that I wasn't sure which side represented which. I mean, I could see a regular human face on one side and one pokemon face which was ravaged by battle over battle. On the other hand, the injured side could represent the vulnerabilities of a human and how easy they can be hurt, and the non-injured could represent how hard it is to hurt a steel type. I mean, were they really different? They almost seemed the same.

 _It doesn't matter if they are or aren't, you're a stupid half-breed and you know it. Your school friends hate you. Jenna hates you. I bet even your mom hates you. And now, Lex and Kyle hate you the most out of all of them. Remember, the painkillers are right in the mirror cabinet. Look at that, it's even open a little bit,_ the depression said.

So it was, and I took the edge of the mirror and swung outwards. There were three shelves filled with old prescriptions for antibiotics that were half empty, an antacid container which was relatively full, a razor, a few pieces of makeup equipment and tucked into the top shelf's right side, painkillers.

 _Just pop open a container and chug the whole thing, it won't take long, and it'll relieve that burning. In fact, it'll relieve everything you have in your life and you'll be completely happy once again. Without a stupid Kyle trying to toy with your mind._

It was true, what the depression said was very true. I reached in and grabbed a container at random which had a label that said: **Contains Methadone. Do not consume more than four within one hour as it may result in serious injury or death.** Crazy that such a small amount could do some much.

 _Best to take more than eight, it ought to be quicker that way, then both of us will be done._

Yep, we'll be done alright. I twisted off the cap and shook the container. Two cylindrical pills dropped into my palm. They were transparent, had a small 'm' on them and looked remarkably like candy. Interesting.

 _They are candy, don't you see? Candy makes you happy and this will too._

I took my other hand and pinched the pills, led them to my head and put them in my mouth. On my tongue, there was no taste so I chewed one and immediately cringed at the bitterness. I swallowed them both and cupped my hands under the running water to help wash down the aftertaste.

 _Okay, now just do some more. Best not to chew these next ones._

I put the cap back on the container and returned it to its place on the shelf.

 _What are you doing?_

I closed the mirror cabinet and smiled at myself.

 _ **What are you doing?**_

"Fuck you," I said, looking at my injury.

 _ **Open the cabinet.**_

"No, I just needed the painkillers to, you know, relieve the pain. I mean, I'd prefer not to feel the burning."

 _ **Then take the pills. Take it and be free from all the burning.**_

"You're kind of a pain too, hopefully this'll kill you."

 _ **Take the pills!**_

"I don't need you, depression. Get out of my life," I felt a great sense of determination in me.

 _ **As long as people call you a freak I'll be here.**_

"As long as I ignore them I'll be fine."

 _ **Then you have no one.**_

"I have a group who cares. Always have, always will."

 _ **You sent them away.**_

"I did, and I'll have to go to them, and say that I'm sorry, then maybe I'll tell them about you. Ooh, they won't like you very much."

 _ **You won't.**_

"Shame you don't have a group, I suppose it's because nobody wants you around. But hey, who can blame them? Guess I'm gonna have to kick you out of the only place you have."

 _ **You won't.**_

"I will, you'll see."

 _ **You won't James! I will- your just a- Jenna- friends-**_

Depression's voice became thin as it shrunk away. While I knew I had silenced him to a far corner of my mind, he was still there. It makes sense, one doesn't get rid of depression in just one day. But one can slow him, stop him, maybe even push him back a few steps.

I looked over my figure in the mirror, much colour had returned to my skin and the bleeding had stopped. The burning was still prominent in my system, though I felt the painkillers slowly getting to work. The relief set in, but it remained achy in parts. I was tempted in taking some more but I held my interest, one thing could lead to another. Instead, I turned off the water and spent time admiring the injury. It was so intriguing; just under my skin was a soft flesh, easily being able to be hurt with minimal effort. And nearly everyone was adept with wounds, getting probably one or two per week; I had just gotten my first when I was seventeen. It looked so… cool. Lex would probably say it looked dumb or idiotic and Kyle would try to heal it; the two of them were really my friends.

I _did_ send them away. I fucked up. I shouldn't have pushed Kyle away, figuratively and literally. They were trying to help me even if it was misguided. It did feel really good when I was free of the depression and had nothing but happy thoughts. I could only feel the outer shell of positivity now. I realized that despite Kyle giving me all of the confidence, there was probably some of it that came from Lex and him.

I sighed, I had to look for them. They needed my apology, maybe more than that. I would do anything, anything at all if it meant I still had my friends. Even-

 _Thump, thump, thump_.

An enthusiastic set of thumps up the stairs came to my ears, followed by slow, more calm steps. First Lex, then Kyle appeared at the top. The bathroom was off to the left so they didn't see me right then. Kyle had his head hung while Lex had clenched fists and a strong expression, the thing they had in common was the tears coming off them. They approached my door and Lex knocked on it hard.

"James! James, please open the door! W-we're sorry, okay? Just… let us in, we're getting scared," Lex said.

"It doesn't matter ,Lex. He won't open it. Because of me, he hates us," Kyle mumbled.

"Kyle, he didn't mean that."

"He does. I saw it in his head, but you don't need psychic to realize that," he raised a paw and wiped under his eye. His voice was cold, there was absence of the shakiness it had before. That scared me, because that was what I sounded like for the last month.

I took a step out of the bathroom, the painkiller had sinked in and I was not stumbling like I thought I would.

Lex moaned, "He-he-he doesn't, I'm sure." She reached up and grabbed the doorknob. "We'll make him feel better. Right, Kyle?"

"I don't know if I should, what if it makes him even worse?"

She turned around, tears streaming faster. "We hurt him! We have to make things right! We have to give him everything needs! We-" Lex paused, she was looking right at me.

Kyle perked, and turned to me also, letting a soft gasp loose.

"Umm… hi," I said, keeping calm.

They stood there, looking at me. No wait. I followed their eyes, the eyes that despite all the bad things I did to them, were crying because they were afraid for me. They were looking at the wound. I gave a small grin, feeling the shift of skin and stinging flesh. "Yeah, pretty crazy, huh? I never thought pain would feel this way, or that I would have pain at all, or… even bleed. But I guess-"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, James!" Lex shouted, surprising me.

"I-I'm more sorry! This was all my fault!" Kyle cried.

"If we hadn't-!"

"Then you-!"

"We-!"

The rest of their words were abstracted by the tears. I was having a bit of trouble keeping the waterworks back myself, so I kept my cool for the moment and walked over to them. Neither saw me so it took them by surprise when I knelt down and drew them into a good, whole hug.

"Guys, I'm sorry. I was a big jerk about this," I said, feeling the quick return of the hug from them.

Kyle was the first to speak, "No… you didn't mean to…"

"I did, Kyle. I let myself get angered over this. Like Lex said, I'm supposed to be a smart guy. I should have thought everything through."

"I'm sorry I scratched you," Lex muttered, leaning her head against mine.

"It's no problem. I uhh… took some painkillers, so it should be fine and-"

"How many did you take?" Kyle blurted out. I turned to him, he had tears beading and ears quivering.

"What?"

"How many?!" he raised his voice enough that I could hear the cracks that dotted it. Then, it dawned on me on what he meant by that.

"Just two. That's all, Kyle," I took my arm from around and stroked his ears.

I saw a blush come over him, lightly appearing through the white fur by his nose. His tears stopped and he returned an uncertain smile. An odd thought that had never occured to me spontaneously materialized, _He looks kinda cute._ However, it left my mind when he spoke up once more.

"It came back, right? The depression?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But what?" Lex interrupted, it was her turn to be looked upon. She too, bore the marks of one in a mixed state of anxiety and fear. The very idea of her showing anything but a nonchalant, caustic outside was foreign.

I smirked, "Well, me and him had a nice chat. I told him I wanted him to get out of my life, then I forced him to get out."

Kyle blinked, seemingly amazed. "Wow, you just… told it go, and it went?"

"Well, he didn't go without a fight. But he'll stay down now, I'm sure."

"We'll make sure he stays down," Lex said.

"That's right, we're here for you, James," Kyle added, rubbing against the other side of my head.

I pulled closer, it made me feel so good to have them so near. With depression freeing my emotions that were all bottled up, I began having a great throbbing feeling inside. It felt a lot like when Jenna said she liked me back, except this was easily much more powerful. "Shit, guys... I-I think I'm gonna cry," I said, sensing the waterworks become fully operational.

"Well, come on then. Join the party," Lex whispered.

I took her invitation and let loose. I kept my whimpers to a minimum to my friends but it seemed not to matter as they were lost in their own. They burrowed themselves further into my neck and brought our hug closer together. I felt the emotions come forward, relentless in how far they spread in my mind. A small idea grew in my head and I prematurely acted on it, I brought myself out of the hug for a few moments and kissed the tops of their heads. "I love you two, I hope you know that," I said.

"We do, James. We love you," Kyle said, his voice was muffled by my shirt that he was leaning against.

"Even if you are stupid at times…" Lex said, looking up and smiling.

"Yeah, true that, Lex," I leaned in and kissed their heads once more. Lex didn't have much of a response but I heard Kyle giggle when I kissed him.

We held the hug for some seconds and broke it, even for how long it was, it was way too soon to be over. I stood back up and wiped away the last few watery stragglers, finding it hard to keep a straight face as I did so. The origin of them was the entire strength that was bending my expression, the passion between the two of them.

"Let's go in my room, I have to do something," I reached and opened my door. Lex and Kyle followed shortly behind me, absentmindedly, they were both holding one of my hands.

I noticed a new addition to my room; three more rocks with sharpie scrawl. I walked over, dropping our holding hands and picked them up, eyeing them with little interest. They were small in size but were enough to fit in a negative message or two. Boring before, the words now felt heavier. They were unpleasant, and there was no place in my room for these little things.

"James?" Lex said, closing her claw around my open hand tightly. Along with her, Kyle wrapped his arm around mine.

"Help me get rid of these, alright?" I asked both of them. They nodded eagerly and went to the corner to collect all of them.

I took the rocks that were skewed across the floor from today and walked over to the window. I maneuvered my head through the glass shards that remained in the frame and dumped out the load of rocks I had. When I let go, the depression was even weaker than before. A small laugh came out of me, I wasn't sure why, but it was nice.

I backed out of the window and saw Kyle using his psychic to move all the rocks in the corner. _Yep, he's a lot stronger now._ He sent them out a few at a time, it chipped off the last fragments of glass, leaving a clean opening to the air. A chill ran up my spine, did a draft come in? Or was it always this cold? My injury felt strangely soothed by the brisk air.

As Kyle sent his last rock over, Lex walked to the window and dropped a single one down. "Just don't say I didn't help," she said, giving a smile.

"Of course not."

With all of them gone, the room had lost the darkness it had, all was left was the memory of it, even that was dying. The rain patted against the side of the house but the wind never grew strong enough to send the droplets over, I thanked Arceus for that one. It was less of a sprinkle and more of an almost mist, clouds were still heavy but didn't let out much more.

I stood, peering out the window, sensing a tiny bead of wet on my face every few seconds. From a distance, I could make out a three story, beige coloured building with tiny dots running to and from it. _School,_ I thought, a reluctant grimace crossed my face. _It was nice to have a vacation for the time but the homework's gonna be a bitch to complete._ _Was there a test? Did report cards get handed out? Damn, I really should have kept in touch._

"James, come over here, would ya?"

Lex was sitting on the bed. A mischievous spirit had touched the corners of her mouth into a sly grin. I suspiciously eyed her and came closer.

"Lex, you can't mean…" Kyle started, fading off. I turned to him where he directed his eyes elsewhere.

"Are you seriously getting cold feet? Really, what's stopping us from _helping_ him now?" Lex said, clearly emphasizing the word 'helping'. I recalled to the hallway and the conversation directed towards me which I overheard. Was this what they were about to do?

"He… won't want me for it," Kyle said, looking down to the floor.

"I'm sure he will," Lex caught my eye. I cleared my throat and spoke.

"Kyle, I will accept you helping me in anyway you can. I promise." I went over and scratched his ear. He flinched but allowed me to continue. He tilted his head up at me and gave me an odd stare, it was unlike any he had given me previously.

"See? Now, let's help him out already," Lex said, her voice edged with the twang of annoyance.

"What do you even mean by helping? The depression is pretty much gone as is." I sat on the bed beside Lex. Kyle stood still, his uneasy expression not dimming one bit. I saw as he slowly exhaled, shook his head, and walked over. He sat on the other side of me.

"Well, we know you're better than before but I bet there's still a few doubts flying around in there." Lex raised a claw and tapped lightly on my forehead, getting a chuckle out of me. What she said was true, there were still clouds of negativity drifting where the depression once stood.

I nodded, "Yeah, there are but they'll go away soon, I'm sure."

"Well, seeing as how they aren't going away now, Kyle and I want to give you some reasons why being part pokemon is so great," the mischievousness came out in her smile once more.

"I suppose that's a good idea," I stated, shivering as another draft came through the window.

"Cool. Well, how about you help him first, Kyle?"

I looked back at Kyle where I saw a mortified face. A scarlet tinge had set on his cheeks. "Why me? You suggested this!"

"And you agreed, and it's my plan, so get to it."

"He won't want me!"

"James said he's okay with it, got it?" Lex said, regaining her sharp annoyance.

"He doesn't even know what we are going to do!"

I decided to join in on the semi-hectic conversation, interested in how they were talking back and forth seemingly about what should happen with me. "Yeah, what _are_ you gonna do?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Kyle answered immediately.

"It doesn't sound like nothing," I said. Kyle's eyes darted around, attempting to avoid mine as best they could. What was this that Kyle did not want to do? What was this 'helping'?

"That's 'cause it _is_ something, James. Kyle's just too embarrassed to admit it to you," Lex added, earning a light huff of ire from Kyle.

"Then why don't you tell me what it is?" I asked. I didn't know what had gotten into Kyle about helping me and all but I needed to know what the hell this 'helping' was.

Lex nodded, "Okay, fine. If Kyle's not going to, I might as well." She took a moment and yawned. "So basically, we want-," Lex started before being cut off, not by anyone however. Her mouth made motions as though she was speaking but no volume had reached my ears.

"Huh?" I said, or at least thought I said. I couldn't even hear myself, forcing an unpleasant thought. _Oh shit, am I deaf?_ No, I was pretty sure I wasn't. Deafness didn't come out of thin air without sign.

Lex looked at me quizzically but she quickly turned angry at something behind me. I turned and saw Kyle holding his wand with the pink hue shining bright. He put it down the moment we made eye contact and all noise came rushing back.

"What the hell, Kyle?!" Lex shouted, distasteful growling eminent in her voice.

"D-don't tell him!" Kyle exclaimed.

"So you tell him then!"

"Tell me what?" I said but was quickly ignored.

"I don't want to! This plan, it was so stupid. I don't even know why I agreed."

"In the name of-!" Lex said, then went quiet. Her breathing slowed and she regained composure. "Fine. If you don't want to tell him - even though you agreed - that's fine." She stood up on the bed and walked behind me to come out between us. Definitely not meaning to sit down as there was little room. She placed a hand on both our shoulders nearest to her. "Actions speak louder than words anyway."

In the moments before what happened next, I saw several changes in Kyle's face. At first, it was of fear, then it swiftly shifted to uncertainty. Finally, it rested on calm. His eyes lowered and relaxation took over. His arm which Lex's hand wasn't on reached over to me. I felt him lightly grip my forearm before Lex pushed.

With her strength, she forced our heads together where we met in the middle, softly as to not hurt either of us. The suddenness of the situation had left my eyes wide open yet Kyle was the opposite, he appeared content and unwavered, even perhaps enjoying himself with what we were doing. Lex had made Kyle and I, albeit rather sloppily, kiss.

The feeling was so weird that I almost pulled away at contact. Yet, he kept me on his lips for much time. His muzzle was entirely different from a human mouth but was so alluring in its own unique way. His lips were much warmer than mine, making me want to melt into him. Why? Why was this feeling so good to me? He was my gender, he was a pokemon and he was my friend… and I _loved it._

With the unease that had filled my mind beginning to disperse, I closed my eyes and sank into the kiss further. How was he so good at this? I wanted more and more. His paw on my forearm slid down and grazed my hand where I grasped and held it.

His lips left mine unceremoniously and I looked at Kyle. His eyes were large, darting around as they were before the kiss. A large amount of sputtering and incomplete words came from his mouth.

"W-why did you hold us there for so long, Lex?" he managed to say to Lex who bore an innocent expression.

"I just started it up and only let go when you two got all smoochy with each other," Lex said, giving a short laugh.

He turned to me, "I didn't know she was going to do that I swear, James!"

I raised a hand and touched my lips, a faint warmth still rested on the surface, fuelling my need to have more. "Kyle, we both know you knew what she was gonna do," a heat ran across my face, "and you liked it, right?"

"I… um… well…"

I looked down at my hand and Kyle's paw, still connected, then back at him. He avoided my gaze, but did not release from my hand. "I liked it," I said, giving an assuring scratch to his ears. They perked immediately.

"I did too… You.. um.. you kiss really good."

"You kissed well too… how did you learn that?"

"You and your bitch girlfriend weren't exactly private about it," Lex said leaning in on me. I began to see the route I was rolling down.

"I take that this was your plan? To 'help' me in this sense?" I asked her.

"Well, part one at least," she said, licking her lips.

"Part one…?"

"I'll tell you about it more, just give me a turn on you. How 'bout it, Kyle? Can I borrow your boyfriend for a second?"

"I… I mean… sure," Kyle muttered, finally letting go of my hand which I found to be strangely sobering.

Did I really want this? Is it okay to be like this with my two friends? Were they even my friends at this point or had we crossed that hazy line from platonic to romantic? Wait, was I getting ahead of myself? Was it okay to be with a pokemon in this way? Was it even so bad considering I was part pokemon? So many questions and no time to answer any of them. Lex had closed in, beginning the kiss…

… And all the questions were blown away. Unlike Kyle, her lips were cooler with the ice type in her coming out. The kiss was very familiar to one from a human as she did not have a muzzle, only a small button nose that rubbed against mine. She was really aggressive, the moment we connected her hands went to the back of my head and locked me in. Not long after, she pushed her weight and made me lay down on the bed, her on top. She continued her assault, taking one hand back from my head and bringing it down to her waist.

A tongue entered the mix, at first just playfully prodding my lips, now pushing through. Her muscle met with mine and began an entrancing dance, exchanging saliva between us. Hers was so cold that it was similar to the ice water from Mt. Coronet, yet with a hint of taste that was labelled 'Lex'. A swell of disquietude came from deep within. 'Was this right?' it asked. The question was not answered, only ignored.

We ended the kiss, Lex leaned her body back, breaking the thin line of fluid we had on our tongues. I opened my eyes and saw what she was doing with her hand at the waist, using her claws to circle around and finger inwards at an area between her legs which was beginning to drip.

"You… uh… aren't really subtle are you, Lex?" I said, trying to stop my eyes from giving into sexual desire. I still wasn't completely sure.

"You act as if I haven't been this way my whole life," she said, breathing lightly from her self-pleasuring.

"James…" I heard Kyle murmur.

I turned to him and was surprised what I saw. He was standing on the bed over like Lex was. His head tilted away from me with red hue coming over his cheeks. He was using his wand as means of occupying his hands from what he really wanted to do. His intentions were lucid enough for me to see. The tip of a pink fox cock was coming out of his sheath.

"Glad to see you're getting in the mood, Kyle," Lex said.

"I-it's only because you and James were… doing that," he said, taking one hand away from the wand to hide his member.

"How about you guys… tell me what happens next," I said, looking at Lex.

"Well, you humans have sex all the time because you love each other and all, right?"

"Sure, yeah."

"Some pokemon are a bit different. We have sex for love but if we want it for pleasure, as long as we're friends, we'll do it," she smiled, putting a hand dangerous close to my crotch.

"I… see."

"You're part pokemon so if you want, you can get in on some of the action," she gripped the waistband and began sliding it down

"Wait, wait. Could you please let me think for a bit?" I asked, holding her arm from going further.

She sighed, "Fine. One minute max. Otherwise we're going ahead with it."

"How generous…" I muttered.

"I heard that. Time's ticking."

It wasn't as though I had never gotten the idea before. On the occasion, it would sneak itself into my train of thought and make sexual images before being shut off by my common sense. But to do it with those I had been friends with nearly my entire life, it didn't seem right. Except Lex said pokemon did it all the time, and I'm a half-breed so… was it okay? Somehow, my mind made a decision.

"Time's up, James," I heard Lex say.

"Good timing, so I guess I'm- hmmph!" She had begun kissing me again, skipping the introduction and shoving her tongue forcefully into me. I fought back, making it a competition for dominance of which neither of us were letting down.

I felt a pair of hands pull my waistband down, leaving my boxers the only layer covering my semi erect member. Those too got removed and a soothing, furry heat wrapped around and started to pump me. My attention was brought back to the kiss as Lex upped her game, pushing her lips hard against mine. My hands brought themselves to her back and held her frame against me.

She removed her tongue from my mouth and backed out of the kiss. Kyle was on his knees, and with one outstretched paw, he was giving me a handjob. He looked so tentative, unsure of how this was making me feel. And he was so damn cute doing it too. _Where did he learn to do this?_ His touch was easily bringing me up to my full size.

I was never blessed with significant length but I imagined the six inches I had were fairly nice. Kyle looked surprised and had the slightest stroke of lust in his eyes. His own member had come fully out of the sheath, around two and half inches shorter than the one he was rubbing.

"Kyle, your paw… it feels great," I said.

He smiled, slowly increasing his speed to a moderate pace. He used his free hand and brushed against the spheres that laid beneath and cradled them with care. The pads against his paws comforted my dick nicely, and when he gave me a squeeze, they flattened and provided more pleasure.

"I'm doing okay?" he asked, slowing his movements. A hopeful glint shining from him.

"And then some, Kyle. Just keep…" my voice left me as I stared at his member, stiff and tapered. I reached out with one hand, "... Just keep doing what you're doing," I said, and carefully wrapped my hand around his member. His heat was much more apparent down there, the flesh was silk like and it fit in my hand perfectly. I began returning the favour Kyle was giving me.

He moaned, tightening his grip on me for the time. "Ahh… James, you really don't…"

"But I want to, if that's okay." He didn't reply, only moaned more.

"I hope you haven't forgotten about me," I heard Lex say. I turned.

"Well, how about you remind me?"

She smiled and stood up, walking forward a few paces until her flower was right over my head. It was hidden beneath fur that was strewn away by her claws and dripping juices. A drop landed on my lips and I was quick to lick it up, it was an interesting blend of saltiness and sweetness. It was addictive.

"I hope you like it," she said, lowering herself, "because you gotta make me feel good too."

She pushed onto me, connecting her lower lips with mine. The flow of her feminine fluids was much more profound. I lapped up as much as I could, pressing my tongue against her folds. I rested my hands against her thighs, bringing my head up higher to get more. This was amazing.

Lex moaned, "Damn… you're pretty good at this." While my eyes were focused on her prize, I could feel her hand few behind my head to push me deeper into her. Her claws wove their way through my hair and pulled towards her.

Kyle, it seemed, was not completely satisfied with just a handjob. Still stroking me, a warm, wet presence made itself known by taking a long wave along the underside of my member. He had licked me. This sudden pleasure briefly made me stop giving oral to Lex, who reminded me instantly.

He continued using his tongue to lather my masculinity with his hot saliva, making me emit pleasurable sounds which vibrated through Lex's womanhood and made her moan in turn. Kyle took it further, bringing the very tip into his maw, where I found just how truly hot a fire type could get. The heat of his hand was nothing compared to his mouth. It was a maelstrom of heat that made my tip twitch with excitement. Then his tongue, which wrapped itself around, effectively capturing me. I suddenly bucked upwards into him. A gag was emitted from him.

I stopped licking, Lex didn't pull me back in. "Kyle, are you alright?" I asked, finding that I was still thoroughly in his mouth. From between Lex's legs, I saw him bringing me out of him slowly, taking the time to lick around me.

"I am James. Just… let me know when you're gonna do that, okay?" he said, starting up the handjob once more.

"There's a better alternative to that," Lex said, standing up and turning around so now her butt was in my face. "Just put his dick in your mouth first."

Kyle did so, putting the tip and an inch into his mouth, letting his tongue work all around what he had. With so much care, it stirred the idea of possibly giving him a blowjob at one point, the feel on my hand only gave me so much. If he was enjoying mine, I bet I could enjoy it too. It was somehow hard to believe, but I was bisexual. Just a month ago, I thought I was straight as an arrow but I suppose I was now straight as a circle.

"Alright, got it?" Lex asked. Kyle nodded. "Good."

Lex bent over, taking a hand and placing on the back of his head. Kyle realized what was about to happen and so did I. Yet, he did not back out but prepared himself.

She pushed down on his head, taking in the remaining inches and causing a hard gag to come from him. But the heat in his throat was unbelievable, making me want to be one with him. The base, which had mostly been ignored was being given a rigorous tonguing; the whole of my dick was in pleasure inside Kyle's mouth.

His throat clenched, charging me with sensation, then again. Lex had still not let go. "Lex, he's choking!" I yelled.

She released her hand at my words. Kyle came up with my dick, coughing and breathing heavily. He appeared in ache but he still had that look of desire in his eyes. His hand was still jacking me off, which was now coated in a shiny, wet film.

"That felt… good," he said, starting to clean off his spit from me.

"Kyle?" I said, worried for him.

"I… _want_ your dick in my throat." He put mouth around my member and took in the first two inches. His head began bobbing taking in two more inches at a time. Now the feeling of movement stirred the pleasure nerves in me, making me moan.

"Alright, crisis averted. Now get back to work, James," Lex said, pushing her ass down to my head. I gave her my full attention, licking at maximum effort. I went ahead and began thrusting my tongue inside, tasting her juices more than ever. Her scent was absolutely perfect. Entrancing, potent, overwhelming; my sense of smell was being overrun, much to my enjoyment.

Kyle's member in my hand had began leaking precum, slathering my hand in the substance. The thought of it's taste, salty and delicious, I would have loved to have its taste then.

Kyle himself had become ambitious, sending all of my member into his mouth, ignoring all that his gag reflex insisted he shouldn't do and gave me a full treatment. His tongue worked around the base of my shaft while started bucking my hips upward. He kept his lips sealed around, making his mouth feel tight and raising the volume of my moans. My orgasm was coming, I was about to cum from a pokemon, from my friend… and I was happy to do it.

"Fuck… gonna cum, Kyle," I said, slowing down my bucking. Then, the warmth of Kyle left my member and Lex's butt had also left my face, giving me a view rather than a taste.

"Sorry, gotta cut it off here, James," Lex said. I saw her holding Kyle's head away from my dick, who was trying desperately to get back to it. He whined and stopped his efforts.

"What?" I said, the pent up seed was all riled up and had made it uncomfortable at my waist.

"Let's face facts, James. Considering this is our first time, we're not gonna last more than one round. We need to make this last."

"But I…" Kyle started saying then quickly lowered his voice. "... _I wanted to taste his sperm_." I looked at his member, he too looked on the edge of ejaculation.

"Well, you'll have to wait, Kyle. I'm way too horny to stop myself anymore." Lex said, standing up, playing with herself as she walked over. Kyle backed off, sighing as he did. I was going to pleasure him eventually, that was certain.

She positioned her womanhood over me, it was quite small and I became scared that she would hurt herself on it. Then I remembered what she had said before. "Hold on, didn't you say that 'since it was _our_ first time'? It's your first too?"

"Yeah, what about it?" she replied, her impatient side was coming forward. Her waist was getting increasingly closer to my rod,

"I just thought you'd have had some… experience, considering the heats you must have went through." I put my fingers between our genitals to intervene. Instead of seeing a barrier, she rubbed against them.

"We went to that pokemon day care and stole some heat suppressants," she said with a wicked smile.

"Were you, by chance, waiting for sex with me?" I said. She reached down and pulled my fingers out of the way.

"Maybe, how about I just fuck you now to prove it?"

Her bluntness, at a time like this, took me by surprise. But I nodded nonetheless. This was okay, I had decided.

The tip made contact with her opening, the juices that I had lapped up before were spilling over the tip to mix with Kyle's saliva. I shuddered, I was about to lose my virginity for real. This time, I was certain there would be nothing negative to come from it.

She pushed down on an inch and I felt nearly everything leave my body. I was floating, rising above all negativity. Her tight pussy was squeezing me for all that I had and I hadn't even gotten more than the tip. Lex was moaning already, gyrating her hips around my member to get used to the size and shape. Carefully, she added an inch inside her and I was unexpectedly out of breath. Her walls were clamped together onto me as though they couldn't go further. I wasn't quite sure I could go very much further. Half an inch further in, we struck the sacred barrier. We looked at each other.

"Are ready for this? I mean, it'll probably hurt so-" I started.

"Let's just do it already!" she said annoyed. She slammed down and all the assertiveness she appeared to have fell away. I heard her scream pierce my ears, her arms wrapped around my back and constricted my mid section.

My member had been crushed inside her. She almost had all of me in her, and I was pressing against another barrier. _Her cervix?_ I thought. Perhaps but I was more concerned about Lex at the moment.

"You alright?" I asked, trying to pull my hand through her locked arms so I could give her a comforting pet.

"...Yeah, but I'm so… full."

"Sorry."

"It's not a bad thing… idiot," she forced a smile and began raising and lowering herself onto me, using the grip she had on me as her balance.

Pleasure began it's takeover of my mind, slowly overloading all the other senses so it was just me and Lex. Her riding me as her friend and nothing more, our moans were out of time with one another but the volume of them made that fact irrelevant.

I managed to finally free my hands and gripped her butt. I noticed the sudden clench from vaginal walls as I did so. She squeaked in pleasure before continued her moaning streak. I gave her a good squeeze and earned another squeal of enjoyment.

"S-stop it... you… you jerk... It's.. embarrassing.." she said, bringing herself closer to me.

"I aim… to.. please," I said, bringing her head to mine. We locked lips quickly, releasing our contained lustfulness together. She continued to push herself further onto my member. She was shoving her tongue deeper into my mouth than ever before, it was becoming intense for the two of us quickly.

She increased her pace, bouncing upon my manhood like there was no tomorrow. Did she get tighter? She had. The line between feeling pleasure and pain from the tightness was growing thin, but I couldn't feel any better than this. Her juices had become for copious to a major extent, even dripping down to dampen both our crotches. It made a squelching sound combined with the slap of her butt against my waist every time we connected. It was the symphony of sex I supposed.

My orgrasm was coming for the second time, the pressure building up in my shaft. This one, much bigger than the one that Kyle's blowjob insinuated, being that it was the combined of two sexual acts. Yet, Lex's appeared to be coming faster than mine. Her body had begun shaking in my embrace. Her tongue too, was fighting a losing battle. She was letting her body cave into mine and her movements became lazy.

Then she came. She came hard. Her pussy clamped onto me, holding us together, and spilt her liquids out. It hadn't sent me over the edge but I was definitely hanging by a thread. Our lips parted and our moans rang out across the room. I hoped no one had heard us considering the window to the outside was quite near.

"Lex… are.. are.. you…. okay?" I managed to ask, the nirvana flowing through my veins clogging my flow of thoughts.

"... urrr… your…. ahhh.." she breathed. Her cool breath tickled the nape of my neck.

"Lex?" I scratched her head, bringing her back to reality.

"You're such.. a.. jerk... grabbing my butt like that."

I smiled, "I'm not sorry."

"Good, you better not be." She began rising up, moaning slightly from my dick being taken out of her.

I gained a perplexed expression, was I being denied an orgasm for the second time? I understood that I should pleasure Kyle in the chance that I would only cum once… but it was becoming a serious annoyance with me. The pent up seed in my shaft was not going to be wasted again.

"Umm… Lex?" I asked. I had to make sure this was her intention.

She stopped raising herself up. My tip was the only part remaining inside her. "What's up?"

"Are you leaving me… without an orgasm again?"

She gave me a look of confusion, "Yeah, James. You still need to fuck Kyle, remember?"

Her statement caught me slightly off guard but I replied, "I.. I know but… again? Seriously?"

"Listen. Too bad, James. I'm sure Kyle will make you cum quickly," she began raising herself up once more.

In a second, I couldn't move. My limbs frozen by an infectious idea that had spread its way through my body. I grabbed Lex's behind and held her from backing off of me. A primal lust had been lit within me, there was nothing going to stop me from getting what I wanted.

"Uhhh… what? What the fuck, James? Let me off," she said, trying to remove my hands but they were locked in.

"No…"

"Excuse me?"

"You're not stopping me." I pushed down on her legs, sending all of me into her again. _She's still so tight!_ my mind screamed. Lex squealed, just like before, her body went limp on to mine. This time, I wasn't giving her any time to recover. Not after what she did. My hands moved down from her legs down to her ankles.

I brought legs from under Lex and shifted to a kneeling position. She was now at an angle to the bed, her head and upper body resting on the mattress. My hands were the only thing holding her from laying completely flat. Combined with her face of pleasure, she looked so submissive, a great contrast to her dominance earlier. The primal flame grew strong, this was what I wanted out of her.

I brought myself all the way out of her and slammed back in. Her back arched and a moan was dragged out of her. From her recent orgasm, she was already tightening so much on my member. I thrusted again, bringing her body closer to mine as I did so, I felt her fluids flowing so much more profound.

 _Oh? Getting excited, Lex?_ I thought sinfully. Before I knew it, I was speaking. "You like that, Lex? Huh? You like getting fucked by me?"

"Whhaa… whhaaat?" she murmured, her tongue was just hanging out of her mouth.

I thrusted hard into her and she nearly screamed in her state of euphoria. "You heard me. Don't you like being fucked by me?" I thrusted again and earned another scream.

"Yea… yes! I like you fuu… fucking me!" She began bucking her hips, getting an extra bit of dick every time I thrusted.

"You're such a slut, Lex!" I yelled, beginning to get rougher with her, pushing harder into her pussy.

"I-I-I'm a slut!"

I was having trouble believing what I was saying and hearing. I was talking dirty to Lex and she was taking it in her submissive state. For whatever reason, it was turning me on so much.

My orgasm was once more, and hopefully for the last time, coming towards me. Without Lex's ability to stop me from cumming, there was nothing between me and release. The primality grew with in me, I was beginning to treat Lex practically like my personal sex doll, thrusting with speed and vigor and almost not caring if she was in pleasure or not. But if her face meant anything to me in the moment, she was in pure, unbridled bliss.

"I'm gonna cum inside you, Lex!"

"Yee… Yes! C-cum.. cum inside!"

I thought that would have been the end of our conversation but I stopped, grinned and said, "Beg me to do it."

She regained enough composure to look at me straightly, "Wha..?"

"Beg me to cum inside." I began to take out my manhood from her, juices rolled down my crotch and onto the bed. Why was I doing this? Why did I feel so good doing it?

"Y-y-y-yes… please.."

"Please, what?"

"P-p-please! Please cum inside me!"

I chuckled and thrusted all the way in, putting my orgasm on edge for the time being. Lex moaned out louder and crushed my dick between her walls. She dug her claws deep into the mattress and sliced through the stuffing within.

I too, felt my release. A large moan was jetted from my lungs. My dick shot out thick ropes of seed inside her, three weeks of liquid lust discharged inside my pokemon friend. I looked down and saw my member twitching at the connection between mine and Lex's genitalia, then a squirt of translucent white fluid spill out of her womanhood; our combined essences. I exhaled, I was so spent.

"...haaa...haaaah…" I heard from below me.

My primitive trance was broken and worry filled my head for Lex. _Oh Arceus, did I hurt her? Did I go too far? Please let that not be the case, please please-_

"Jaa.. James.." she mumbled, managing to turn her head up to me. She reached up and put her claw on my hand that was holding her leg.

"Y-yes? I'm sorry, Lex. I don't what came over me, are you-"

"Sh… shut up, James… Don… Don't apologize for that.."

I carefully laid down her legs and slid my member out of her. She moaned out, then squeaked as the tip left her. The brisk wind blew against my soaked manhood and made me shiver. It was softening quickly.

Lex's womanhood leaked our juices, tangling her lower fur. She stared up at me, tired and relaxed. "I'm just… gonna sleep.. here… for now," she whispered, closing her eyes. A smile came from me at her peaceful state.

"Alright, rest well," I said. I went down and kissed her forehead. She giggled childishly.

"You're such an idiot.." was the last thing she said before she fell to the calm, soothing hands of sleep.

 _Yep, an idiot who is happy to be your friend._

I backed off of Lex and turned my head towards Kyle. I would've been lying if I said I was completely assuring myself over and over. Was Kyle okay with me doing this? Did he really want me to fuck him? Even so, what would we really do? The thought of being gay never occurred, was I going to be good enough? Oh Arceus, too many questions again. I'll never…

".. hmmm.. Ahh.. J-James…" Kyle moaned.

My eyes went wide at the sight, Kyle was laying on his back, his head turned up at the ceiling, drooling from the corners of his muzzle. One of his hands was stroking his shaft, using the precum I had smeared across during my handjob to him as lubricant. The other, however, was the reason I was shaken. It grasped his wand, slowly sliding the first few inches into his tailhole. If I was able to, my erection would have been up in record time.

I made my way over to him, eyeing him with searing lust. It was so hot, what he was doing. There were no more questions to be thought of, I knew what I needed to do.

Kyle noticed me, panting at his self-pleasuring. He carefully took his wand out and put it beside him. His hands went over and spread the hemispheres of soft flesh, revealing his hole. "Please… give it to me.." he said.

"I… Kyle.." I reached my hand forward and inserted two fingers into his cavern. It was so hot in him, this was a few steps upward than his throat or mouth. Would it hurt when I stuck it in him? No, it didn't matter, I didn't care, he was going to get my pleasure no matter what. I added another finger, he moaned in a high voice, and my manhood so desperately wanted to get hard but it was still too soon.

"I-I-I.. need your dick.." he said.

"I'm sorry, Kyle. I just came so I'm still soft and- huuhhh!?"

Suddenly, my dick sprang up from it's sleep, hard, stiff and veiny. It was nearly painful how it was, and pain was not easy to come by with me.

Kyle was barely touching his want but if it's pink hue held any sort of evidence, it was clear who was behind my hard-on.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I _need you right now, James_ ,"

I wasn't going to argue anyway, we both needed each other.

I took my fingers out. I got closer and took hold of both his legs similar how I did with Lex, aligning his tailhole with my member. This was really happening, I was going to have sex with another guy. Kyle was so acceptant of me, was he waiting for his time with me as well?

"Y-yes, I was…" he mumbled.

I was shocked at how he could know what I was thinking then I remembered, _He's a psychic, dumbass._ "Are you ready?" I pressed the tip against his anus, the heat that was radiating out already seemed almost too much.

"Please.. please, I can't take any more time without it."

I was about to push in but my sense of certainty still did not allow me to go forward. "It's gonna hurt, you know?"

"I.. I don't care, let me have you.."

I nodded. I pushed into him slowly, looking to his face for any sign of pain or discomfort. The head of my member slid into his hole and heard a squeak from him. I stopped instantly, then the heat inside him sunk in, and I too, emitted a shamefully high pitched squeak. His fire was surrounding and strangling my member, he was much tighter than Lex.

"A-are you okay?" I asked.

"It just surprised me… You're sort of big."

"Thanks."

"Keep going.. I'm ready…"

I slid in another inch and heard an immediate whimper from him, his ass became tighter all of a sudden. "Are you though?"

"I'm.. I'm not… but…"

"Kyle, I can give you more time to prepare if you want.."

"No. I-I-I _need_ this."

"You don't need it, you could hurt yourself and.."

"I don't care!"

His arm shot out and grabbed his wand, gripping it so tight it was shaking. I attempted to take it from him but it was too late. The tip began glowing and I lost all motor control of my body. Psychic weaved through my tendons and bones, readying them for their course of action. I prepared myself mentally, Kyle wasn't acting the same as before, the primitive mindset that had made its mark on me was now taking over him.

My body thrusted forward, forcing its way through Kyle without regard for his well being. There was much resistance but he kept pushing forward, enveloping the remaining inches of my member. Then, I hilted inside. The heat had grown exponentially and I lost my breath, his ass's tightness with his internal flame were almost enough to make more orgasm. But what stopped it was my worry.

I looked down, Kyle was limp. His wand was loosely grasped in his hand while his eyes were half-lidded, barely being held up by the strength he had left.

"Oh Arceus! Kyle, what were you thinking!?" I scolded, trying not to come off as too angry for him.

"... it.. it isn't… fair.."

"What?"

"Why.. why can't I.. have what Lex got? I-it hurts… so much… it isn't fair..." he said, his fingers nudging edge of his wand, "we… both of us have to feel good.."

I was quick to stop him, taking the wand and placing it out of reaching distance. "Kyle, we have to work this out between us. Your psychic isn't the solution to everything." I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but he could be hurt and so I didn't.

He whined, "But it hurts… can't I just have no pain.. isn't that okay?"

"I know you want it that way.. but we have to tough this one out. If we are gonna do this more, we need this to be right. I mean, you're my friend, Kyle, so-"

"No… stop.."

"What?"

"I don't want this.. not how it is… anyway.."

"I don't understand.."

"Can't we do this.. as _more_ than friends?"

I began thinking my ears were deceiving me, did Kyle really say that? It was so hard to believe he would want this. Or was it? Was Kyle really giving me hints toward his true desire to me? I was starting to feel really stupid, even before my depression he wanted it. In the forest he would sometimes 'accidentally' get a bit too close when he found me in hide and seek. Whenever I was the one who touched or bumped against him, he flinched and sometimes squeaked in surprise. And when I pushed him, how his voice got cold... Was I really that blind and/or deaf to not have noticed this?

"Kyle, I'm so sorry.. I didn't know.."

"No, I understand… You can get out of me…"

"That's not what I mean." My hands on his legs gave him a little rub, making him stiffen.

"J-James!"

"It's still kinda shocking to me and all but.."

"Yes?"

"We can just.. umm.. try it out, if you want.." I said, smiling. He reciprocated nervously, putting his right paw on my hand resting on his right leg.

"O-okay.. I'm ready now. For real, this time."

"I believe you, Kyle."

I brought myself out to the tip and pushed slowly back in, breathing heavily at the resistance and grip of his ass, the heat being another factor entirely. It was fluctuating, dependent on how far I was inside him. As I hilted in him for the second time, he stifled a moan as if he was embarrassed. _Wow, he's cute._ I doubt anyone I knew would think I'd be in this situation right now. Especially Jenna, if I could only to say it to her face right now it would be like heaven on earth. That is, if heaven wasn't already in this bedroom with me.

Kyle breathed and moaned lightly at my thrusts, letting me do all the work I could to make him feel good. His muzzle still bore a smile, he wasn't being completely pleasured yet but he was determined and I'm certain-

".. ahh.. HAAHH!" Kyle suddenly moaned, his hand on mine squeezed tight and then released.

I stopped, finding his smile had gone from its content perfection to a pleasured slur. His rump was still clenching me hard and his member jolted in excitement, spilling precum over his crotch and onto the bit of dick that wasn't in him. It was super hot, and so attractive.

 _I think I found your pleasure button, Kyle_.

I thrusted again, harder this time. He yelped in elation and bucked his hips back, trying to get more pleasure out of my movement. I grinned, now he was feeling the pleasure he deserved.

"K-keep g-g-going.." he whispered, and I was happy to oblige.

I upped my speed, driving my member into his tailhole without any worry that he wasn't getting pleasure out of this. I pulled his legs closer on every thrust, making sure I was getting as far into him as I could. The heat within being stirred by my motion and warming my manhood. It now wasn't as hard to push in anymore, his ass loosening just the slightest bit to allow the size of me into him.

Kyle let out his pleasured noises, much to my enjoyment. He had lost the pleased look on his face to the confines of euphoric sensation, letting his eyes close for longer periods of time and drool run down his muzzle. The fox member of his was throbbing ceaselessly with veins becoming more visible with him.

I began feeling the primitivity come to me again, its presence driving wicked thoughts into my head. I ignored it for the time being, Kyle wasn't the same person as Lex and may be hurt if I lost my care for his well being. But what it would feel like, his ass taking in all of my member at near blur level speeds, his face contorted further into ecstasy, then cumming together to release every bit of unsure feelings we had toward each other.

"D-d-do it.." Kyle said, barely making that statement clear through his moans.

"A-are you sure?" I asked between thrusts.

"Y..YES! DO IT JAMES!"

I stopped my movements, feeling the plague of primal lust take over my head. This was what Kyle wanted, and so did I. A smile crept out of me and I looked down at Kyle, an almost frantic expression danced across his face.

"James? A-a-are you g-gonna-"

My hands went further down and grabbed his butt roughly, getting a solid yip in surprise from him. I relished in their lush and silky feel of his skin before confirming my grip and flipping Kyle over so now he faced away from me, another yelp was emitted from him and a clamp from his ass. _Oh, Kyle. I'm gonna have you screaming my name._

Without mercy, I plowed into his ass. Jerking his butt backward with my member, dragging out the full pleasure as long as I could. His tailhole was squeezing my member even tighter than before and his flame which had been dormant in my thoughts suddenly flared back up. He moaned the loudest I heard him so far, but I was so desperate to break that record now. It was going to happen.

I repeatedly slapped my balls against his own, sending extra bits of jolted pleasure into him. He started wiggling his curvy hips from side to side, sending my cock inside him on a slightly bent path. I still managed to continue demolishing his prostate and let him release louder moans then before. But mine were not far behind in frequency and volume.

"J-James! JAMES IT FEELS SO GOOD!" he yelled. I began pushing harder into him, making sure the entirety of me went into his backside; from the tip to the base. He needed to feel as good as I did, and he was going to get it. I knew now what I had to do for this.

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Kyle's midsection. I pulled him up against my chest, turned around, and let myself fall onto the bed on my back. His head was nestled under my neck, sensing his body heating up. I bucked my hips up into him and heard a clamour of pleasure, from him and I. "I'm not sure I'll last much longer!" I exclaimed.

"Let it out! Let it all out in me because I LOVE YOU!" he screamed. I managed to increase my speed once more. Then, one of my hands came free from his chest while the other was still locked across him like a seat belt. It went down to his waist and found a fleshy obelisk. I enclosed around it and began pumping him once more. His member was already pulsating with his raunchy needs.

Kyle moaned loudly and I felt a sudden liquid coat my hand. Then, a jet of white fox sperm came over Kyle's body and struck the corner of my mouth. He had came, from my pleasure to him. And that thought of realization sent me over the edge of ecstasy. I thrusted forward for one last time and sprayed my seed into him, into his naughty boyhole.

I exhaled, Kyle on top of me, both of us completely exhausted. I felt Kyle's member retract back into his shaft, leaving my hand without something to grab on. My own, still hot inside his ass, was also softening. _I just fucked Kyle,_ that thought was on playback in my head and it only became further driven in the more it came back into focus. I brought my cum covered hand to vision. His cum strung itself between my fingers like an Ariados's web, the splotch on my mouth made itself known by slipping through my lips. I tasted the saltiness and almost spat it out, forgetting for the moment that it was Kyle's. I swirled the fluid in my mouth, beginning to enjoy the taste of it, as though it were a new drink. My hand made my way to my mouth too, sticking out my tongue and cleaning off Kyle's remaining essence.

"D-d-did you.. like it?" Kyle said. Looking up at me with round eyes and a tired smile.

"Which? The sex or your cum?" I replied, returning the expression. I put my hand on his chest again where two furry paws were laid on top. I swallowed the rest of his sperm. "Actually, scratch that. Both were a perfect ten in my opinion."

He giggled, "I'm glad.." he whispered, beginning to raise himself off my member. More cool air struck my exposed phallus but between the inside of his ass and fur against my body it made little difference.

It popped out of him and he sighed, cum beginning to spill out. A young memory made itself known and my hand went down and wiped two fingers against his taint. He jerked in my hold so I hugged him tighter with my remaining arm. My hand came back, the index and middle finger's tips were coated in my own cum.

"You wanted to taste it, right?" I asked, holding them up to his muzzle. He was silent and then I felt his tongue start to clean off my digits. His licking went above and between, I felt a little laughter from the tickling sensation it gave me.

He finished with my cum and flipped himself over, staring into me with hearts in his eyes. "It was.. really good, James," he came closer. Our heads were mere inches apart. _Kyle, I know you're probably reading my mind right now,_ I thought, _we've been friends for a while and maybe we both knew somewhere deep down that we wanted to take the extra step. So I'll take it with you. Let's start, shall we?_

Our lips came together once more, this time, on our own accounts. His furry lips brushed up against mine and we both indulged in the contact of the other. We let our arms wrap around our bodies, connecting us further. Almost in sync, our tongues prodded the other's lips. We stopped the kiss and began a make out session. His long canine tongue should have clearly been the more powerful of the pair but was gentle in the long-run. I let him explore mine while I did similar to his. There was very little lust in it, not devoid of it but enough to make it a very pleasurable experience. The majority of it was love.

My lips left Kyle's slowly, a bridge of spit was the last thing connecting our two mouths before it was also broken. I smiled and saw Kyle smiling back, a few tears on the corners of his eyes. He wiped them away, "You're okay with it?"

"Yes, I'm very sure. I love you, Kyle."

We were about to get into another kiss when a bit of laughter was heard across the bed. I looked behind Kyle and saw Lex, sitting up and pressing her claws to her nether regions. "Heehee, how cute. James and Kyle all gay together."

I stifled a chuckle and gave Kyle a scratch on the ear. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Just give me some dick from time to time and I won't interrupt any of your _special_ time," Lex smiled, no longer masturbating. She pushed herself over to the pillow and leaned back.

Kyle became flustered at her statement but ended up grinning at what she said, "So you're our horny third wheel then?"

"Ehh, I prefer to think of myself as a predator waiting to strike."

"If it's sex you're striking with, I won't mind," I said, kissing Kyle's forehead., making him rub against the underside of my neck.

I laid there in my bed, trying to keep my eyes open but to no avail. I had spent too much energy, and was beginning to sleep. The sun didn't make its way through the clouds that surrounded Jubilife city but I didn't mind. My sunshines were right here.

"Alright, Lex. Shove over, me and Kyle need to join up there with you too," I said, hugging Kyle while I shifted to and upright position.

"No way, get your own bed," she replied. Her body snuggled into the pillow, leaving little room for either of us.

I released Kyle from the confines of my arms and crawled up to her anyway. I put my head on the corner in which her body didn't yet touch, hoping to achieve some comfort. But considering her arm which came over not to long later, it was short lived. "Fuck you," I said, pushing it off.

"You did. Thanks for the reminder." Her arm didn't return this time, she had decided sleeping was much better than bickering over space.

"Come on up, Kyle. There's… not really plenty of room," I said, giving a positive look.

He came up and tucked himself under my side, arms around my chest. "A bit early for sleep, isn't it?"

"I mean, sure.. if you want to get all technical with it."

He snickered, rubbing up against me further, starting to sleep too.

I wasn't sure if I was going to school tomorrow, after everything today there was still the thoughts of how people would react if I came in after three weeks of no half-breed freak James. Depression's shadow was faint but visible. Perhaps all I needed was more time, more time to explore the positive side of life with my friend and new boyfriend. It seemed like delaying the inevitable but it's what I was doing by not telling Jenna about me being a half-breed. When I do go back, I'll be a new person, a reinvention of my half-breed self. If the school can't handle that, well then who cares? Lex and Kyle are always there. And I'll be there with them.

* * *

 **Alright! 25,000 words not including the author's notes! My next story will not be another one shot but a fully fledged multi-chapter story. I aim to improve everything I did wrong in "Flaring Love" including thinking of a more creative title. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and I will see you next time!**

 **Peace!**

 **-Minusbomb**


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